


Shadow Lake

by Adaline_Blooms



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caretaking, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Hidden Powers, High School, Hurt, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Magnus Bane, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood in Love, Malec, Protective Alec, Protective Alec Lightwood, Romance, Secrets, Supportive Alec Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, Vulnerable Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24798403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaline_Blooms/pseuds/Adaline_Blooms
Summary: Magnus lived with secrets he was too terrified to share. Alec had stumbled across one the night they first met when he rescued Magnus from drowning at the hands of his hateful stepfather.Now at seventeen, Magnus has managed to keep the rest of his darkness under lock and key. Unfortunately, there are no secrets that time does not reveal. And when the truth comes out, it will bring devastating consequences for Magnus, Alec, and the people of Shadow Lake.--A kind-of ‘Human’ AU but with important supernatural elements; there’s definitely magic in this universe. Magnus has powers, but he keeps them hidden.
Relationships: Magnus & Alec, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Malec - Relationship
Comments: 71
Kudos: 129





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> -The Prologue describes Magnus’ and Alec’s first meeting (both were 8 years old). The main story picks up at the start of summer before their senior year.  
>   
> -The Lightwood family, Clary, Simon, Catarina, Ragnor, and Raphael all will have parts to play, but this is a Malec-centric story.
> 
> -WARNINGS: Mangus' stepfather is not a nice guy, as we know. This story contains domestic violence. Please take note of the tags. This prologue, in particular, describes a violent scene in a lake.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was well after nine o’clock at night when Alec Lightwood rounded the last stretch of the path along Shadow Lake near his home.

At eight years old, he should not have been out this late all on his own. He knew better, and his parents would be upset if they knew. But, it was one of the last summer nights before the new school year would start, and Alec always enjoyed a certain sense of adventure whenever he was playing outside in the fresh night air – as most imaginative children do. 

He jogged down a familiar slope in the trail that was flanked by large oak trees on either side, their branches overlapping each other to spill over and block out the stars above. It was one of his favorite places near the lake because the canopy of leaves made this part of the trail feel like a secret tunnel. No houses were to be found in this area, only soaring trees and leafy bushes along the lake.

Alec emerged from the tree tunnel and heard heavy splashes of water. He wondered why someone would be swimming this late. He stepped off the path and padded through the grass toward the edge of the lake. He squinted through the darkness; his vision was aided by beams of moonlight shimmering along the rolling water’s surface.

His eyes landed on a large dark figure of a man kneeling at the very edge of a dock with both his hands in the water. He could hear the man’s heavy inhalations from land; it almost sounded like he was crying and growling at the same time.

Alec inched closer and took a step onto the dock. Suddenly, water splashed again, and Alec’s heart jumped up into this throat at the sight of someone’s head breaking the surface between the man’s hands. There was actually someone in the water, and they were thrashing against the man’s grip.

Alec was trying to make sense of the scene in front of him when he heard a muddled scream from the water, desperate-sounding enough to create chills that shot down his spine. It was a kid, just a boy like him. Alec crept along the wooden platform, still unnoticed.

“Let go!” the boy begged in between heaving gasps. Alec saw him spitting water out of his mouth before sinking under the water again, the large man holding him down.

“It’s the only way,” the man sobbed. “This has to end.”

“Hey!” Alec shouted, “Stop. You’re hurting him!”

The man jerked his head around, apparently surprised at having a spectator. Alec was surprised too; he’d never been so scared before. They both stared at each other with wide eyes.

The distraction allowed the drowning boy to bob up to the surface again, his mouth opening to suck in needy gulps of air.

“Get the hell out of here, kid,” the man barked at Alec. “This is what needs to be done, and it’s none of your damn business. Leave!”

The man’s scraggly hair was wet from the boy’s splashes, and his face looked both angry and sad, confusing Alec further. He caught a whiff of alcohol and assumed the man to be drunk. Alec forced himself to look away from the menacing figure and back down to the dark-haired boy, who looked scared and … tired. He wasn’t thrashing in the water anymore. He merely whimpered as he tried to pull himself away from the man’s grip.

“Please … let … me g-go,” he moaned between panicked breaths, but the man’s fingers only dug further through the thin, soaked material of the boy’s shirt, pinching his skin and holding him in place.

The man looked away from Alec and back down to the water. Alec could see the profile of the angry man’s face shifting into an ominous snarl. Then, he dunked the boy underwater until he was fully submerged again. Even though the man’s arms jerked from the boy’s struggled efforts to breach the surface, he easily managed to keep him underwater.

Alec screamed for the man to stop. He felt wetness spring out of his eyes; he realized he had started to cry. He looked around frantically. He screamed again, this time into the night air praying someone would hear him. “Help!”

He didn’t see anyone, though. No houses are near this part of the lake, he recalled as another wave of panic crashed into him. 

Without another second to think about it, he charged at the man with all the strength he possessed. Alec was just an eight-year-old lanky kid, but he counted on the element of surprise. He crashed into the man, toppling him over as they both tumbled into the water.

Cold prickling sensations shocked Alec the moment he landed in the lake. In the back of his mind, he remembered his dad telling him once that open water is not nearly as warm as the summer air over it. Quicker than he expected, he popped up to the surface and sucked in a breath, pushing away the hair from his forehead, where it had cascaded down like a waterfall.

He looked to see the man had also surfaced and was grabbing for the dock, spitting water out with anguished sobs.

“You don’t understand! I was trying to stop it,” the man blubbered, sounding defeated now rather than incensed. He was not trying to swim after Alec. Instead, the man hoisted himself onto the dock and collapsed into a puddle of tormented wails.

Movement to his right caught Alec’s attention. The other boy was a few yards away, wearily trying to tread water. He appeared to bob every few seconds, unsuccessful at keeping his mouth above the surface.

Alec did not delay a second longer. He swam over to the other boy. “I got you,” he said as he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and began swimming back to the shore.

The drunken man behind them was still crying on the dock. His voice became more distant the further Alec swam, but he could still make out his words.

“It’s his fault she’s gone.” “He’s an abomination!” “You just saved a demon!”

\--

Magnus Bane didn’t know how long he had been in the water, or who was the boy with his arm wrapped around his neck to keep him afloat. He wanted to help swim, to get away from this nightmare as fast as possible, but his limbs felt like lead weights. The adrenaline seemed to bleed out of his body now, rolling out in waves like the water lapping around him. He struggled to catch his breath, and for the first time that night, he felt the coldness setting in. His teeth suddenly began to chatter.

Before he could regain control of his muscles, he felt solid, wet earth touch underneath him. The other boy was dragging him out of the water and into the grass. Magnus trembled and continued to heave in the late-night air. The other boy breathed deeply too, looking down at him, where he could only lay flat on his back where he had just been placed.

“Are you okay?” the boy asked.

Magnus could only cough in response. His lungs burned. Water bubbles sputtered up and out of his mouth. He felt a hand patting against his back, likely trying to help him empty the briny lake water from his insides. It felt like he had swallowed gallons of the stuff.

“My name’s Alec.”

Magnus heard the boy, but he was unable to summon enough strength to reply. Instead, he closed his eyes and rolled over, curling onto his side and pressing his forehead into the mud as if it would help curb the lightheaded spinning sensation overcoming him. Even his bones ached, exhausted from the struggle.

After a moment, Magnus felt someone shaking him. But when he opened his eyes, he realized he was shaking himself, his body limply floundering – like an actual fish out of water.

“Hey,” he heard the boy, Alec, say. Only now he was rubbing his hand up and down Magnus’ arm as if trying to either warm him up or calm him down.

“My name’s Alec,” he tried again.

“I-I heard you. I-I’m Magnus,” Magnus managed weakly through chattering teeth.

“Oh. Okay. Well, we need to get away from here.” He saw Alec looking back at the lake warily. “Can you walk, Magnus? My home is really close by. We can go there.”

Magnus merely nodded and sluggishly pulled himself up onto his knees. He felt Alec’s arms slide underneath his own to help drag him to his feet. He wobbled heavily at first, but after a few yards, Magnus felt sturdy enough to at least not fall over. Alec didn’t let go of his grasp on him, and it steadily guided him through the grass, further away from the lake.

After less than ten minutes of haggard stumbling, the boys made their way through an open yard and onto a patio before reaching a backdoor to a large, three-story house. Alec had spoken the truth; he did live remarkably close by.

“This goes to my room. I have the whole basement,” Alec said as he fished keys from his soaked jean pocket, sounding quite pleased about having his own entrance to his family’s home courtesy of the walk-out basement.

“You’ll be safe here,” Alec assured him as he pushed the door open. Magnus had literally just met this boy, but his promise of safety urged a much-needed warming sensation to bloom in his chest.

Alec didn’t turn on any lights immediately when they entered his room. The moonlight that cascaded through the large front window was enough to illuminate most of the large space, though. Magnus was guided to a chair next to a desk. Alec’s hands moved to his shoulders and gently pushed down, urging Magnus to sit. He acquiesced silently and watched Alec stride back across the carpeted floor and into a smaller room, a bathroom, maybe.

Magnus rubbed his hands up and down his arms trying to warm himself. His breaths were no longer heavy and panting, but he still struggled to suppress whimpers. A hiccup escaped his lips every few moments, caused by the abrupt gulps of air he had been trying to consume ever since Alec had pulled him from the water. The terror of the night was still fresh in his mind, but the absence of immediate danger let his thoughts bubble up from the ebbing numbness. He wanted to stay numb, though - to not think about what just happened.

-

Alec quickly returned from the bathroom with a few dry towels; he wrapped one of them around Magnus’ shoulders like a cape and placed another directly into Magnus’ hands.

Magnus whispered a small thank you without looking up. Alec watched him bring the towel to his head and start running it through his wet hair.

Alec thought for a moment about what else they needed. Dry clothes were obviously necessary and maybe something to drink for Magnus. He stepped away again before returning with a black sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants in his hands.

“Um, here you go … Magnus.” Magnus took them silently and allowed Alec to lead him to the bathroom, following with the towel still hanging from his shoulders.

“I’ll be out here,” Alec gestured before shutting the door. He quickly peeled off his own wet clothes before changing into a white t-shirt and gray sweats. He slipped dry socks on and then quickly slipped out of the bedroom. He sprinted into the kitchen and slid across the linoleum floor, grabbing a mug from the corner cabinet. He set to work on heating a cup of instant hot chocolate.

When he returned to his bedroom, Magnus had already changed and was now standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. His arms were crossed over his chest but at least he looked a bit warmer. Alec walked up to him and handed him the hot mug. Magnus took it but didn’t drink it. Instead, he just looked down at it as if not knowing what to do next.

“It’s hot chocolate. You like hot chocolate, right?” Everyone liked hot chocolate, Alec was sure.

Magnus just shrugged as if he didn’t know. Alec’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he decided to not ask anything further and simply pointed to the bed next to them, gesturing for Magnus to sit down to drink.

Magnus complied. He sniffed the steaming mug before taking his first taste, and then Alec saw his dark brown eyes widen for just a minute.

“It’s really good,” Magnus whispered. He took another, larger sip.

Alec smiled. He sat down on the bed too and said, “So … we should probably tell my mom what happened. She can help.”

Magnus’ eyes widened again but in obvious fear this time. In a mere instant, he started shaking fiercely, spilling a little of the mug’s contents over his fingers. “No, no, we can’t. Please don’t.”

“But that man tried to hurt you.”

“He’s my stepfather,” Magnus responded.

Alec startled from the other boy’s admission. _Why would someone try to hurt their own family?_ “I don’t understand. Why did he do that?”

“He’s sad. And, he was drinking. A lot. Too much.”

Alec considered that for a moment and tried to think back to a time when his own father was sad or drank. He could hardly think of a time, but even then, he had never seen his or any of his friends’ parents do something so scary. Never would his father hurt him. Suddenly, he felt a wave of sadness at the revelation that this boy’s stepfather was not the same.

“He still shouldn’t have done that. What if it happens again?”

“No, he won’t do it again.” Magnus looked up to Alec, startling him by finally making consistent eye contact. “I’m sure he won’t. He’s just sad. My mama died, and he’s very sad.”

Alec felt sorrow again; he frowned further. “How did she die?”

As a curious eight-year-old, Alec did not yet understand tact. Kids always ask difficult questions, often in a straightforward way.

“She hurt herself.” Magnus said simply. His eyes instantly welled up with a curtain of unshed tears. His bottom lip quivered.

Alec tried to imagine what it would be like if his own mother died. But as soon as he thought about it, a panicked sensation bolted through him, and he quickly stopped imagining such a horrible thing. It hurt too much. He realized Magnus must have hurt too much since his mom really was … gone. He suddenly wanted nothing more at the moment than to take away the other boy’s pain.

“I’m sorry, Magnus,” Alec expressed sincerely. “Are … are you sure your stepdad won’t try to hurt you again?”

Magnus nodded emphatically. “Yes, I’m sure. He never did it before, and he won’t ever again.”

They sat together in silence for several minutes after that. Magnus continued sipping the hot chocolate. Soon he was close to finishing it.

“Thank you for helping me, Alec,” he whispered. Alec smiled in response.

“Is Alec short for Alexander … like Alexander the Great?” Magnus continued, and Alec chuckled at the sudden change in topic.

“Yeah, it’s short for Alexander. But everyone calls me Alec, even my parents. Except when I’m in trouble. Then it’s, ‘Alexander Gideon Lightwood’,” Alec explained, whisper-yelling his full name to imitate his mother’s hollering.

Magnus giggled. Alec felt happy that he had made the other boy smile.

“I like the name, Alexander,” Magnus decided before a small yawn escaped.

“Well, I like _your_ name. I never met anyone named Magnus before.”

Magnus smiled again. “I’m eight. How old are you?”

“Cool! I’m eight too!” Alec said excitedly.

Alec offered to take the now empty mug from Magnus. He walked it over to the desk and sat it down. “You shouldn’t go back home tonight. You’ll stay here. Are you tired?”

Magnus seemed hesitant but nodded.

“Then let’s go to sleep. I’m tired too.”

Alec’s bed was full-sized, plenty of space for them both. Magnus silently slipped under the blankets and laid down. Alec went around to the other side and did the same. 

Alec fell asleep a few minutes later. Magnus couldn’t succumb to his exhaustion so simply, though. The silence was a very hard sound to bear.

However, soon his thoughts shifted to Alec – the boy who saved his life and made him feel safe even though they had just met a little over an hour ago. He felt lighter and finally started to drift to sleep. His last fleeting thought was a wish that Alec could become his new friend.


	2. The Space Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments of space between the prologue and where our story will begin. 
> 
> Or, Magnus and Alec grow up: the sparknotes version.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me and taking the time to read this story! Your comments/kudos are treasured. I haven't written fanfiction in a long time. (And I mean a very, very long time.) Leave it to my Malec obsession to bring me back. :) 
> 
> This chapter serves to bring great context to Magnus and Alec's life after the prologue before we can move on to the heart of the story.

Magnus and Alec didn’t speak again about what happened at the lake on that crucial first night they met. Alec never told another soul either - not even his younger siblings, Izzy and Jace Lightwood.

Magnus got his wish. Alec became his steadfast friend, his ride-or-die, his secret-keeper. Even if he imagined he was rich with diamonds and rubies and pirate chests brimming over with glittering gold, he knew nothing would ever be more precious to him than Alexander.

Magnus quickly learned how to navigate life in Shadow Lake despite his stepfather, who for the most part ignored the boy as if he didn’t exist. Magnus was sure to always keep his distance, always striving to remain out-of-sight. He did an effective job of sinking into the shadows of his deceased mother’s lakefront residence.

Luckily, his stepfather, whose name was Hermen, traveled out-of-state for work frequently and often was gone for weeks at a time. When he was away, Magnus felt the safest.

When Hermen was home from his work-related travels, though, Magnus took care to make himself scarce. Because he was a resourceful boy, he had established a few different ways of traversing his situation from a young age:

 **1.** **The Attic:** Magnus had moved himself to the attic before he turned nine. If he had to stay home, he settled up there where the hatch to the pull-down ladder could be bolted shut from the inside; it became his bedroom and the closest thing to a safe haven he would ever find in that house.

The room was small with sloping ceilings from the triangular roof, but it had a large window. Magnus cleaned the space as much as he could. He eventually uncovered his mother’s old schoolbooks and even a sewing machine from some of the dusty boxes in the corner. In his boredom of the lonely days and nights, he poured over the books. Though he was too young to comprehend most of it, he picked up some things and found the history books most interesting of all. 

He had no real toys. He tinkered with the sewing machine and eventually taught himself how to use it from one of his mother’s how-to magazines. Sewing wasn’t exciting, and the machine was in poor condition, but fiddling with it was better than staring at the walls. Magnus had even managed to make a couple of pillows from random scraps of fabric and rags he collected where he could before the machine finally gave out.

 ** **2\. T** he Lightwood Residence: **Many nights Magnus had the option of sleeping over at the Lightwood’s, who lived less than half a mile from him around the northwestern curve of the lake. He was careful not to spend too much time there, though, no matter how much he wanted to. Alec’s family constantly made him feel welcomed, but he didn’t want to raise concerns. He was quite sure good parents liked to check in with other kids’ parents from time to time, and Magnus simply couldn’t let that happen. On a very basic level, the boy understood how Hermen treated him was wrong, but if other adults found out, Magnus might get punished and sent away. If he were taken away, he would lose Alec.

 **3\. The Not-So Grumpy Neighbor:** Somehow, Magnus had managed to befriend his crotchety old neighbor, Ragnor Fell. Usually, the grumpy man simply harrumphed his indifference at Magnus whenever the boy waved hello. But then, on a rare night where Magnus ended up in the kitchen at the same time as his despondent stepfather, something changed.

Hermen ended up shouting at him for spilling his bowl of cereal and chased him out the front door, cursing his clumsy existence. Magnus ran out onto the front lawn, only stopping when he saw he wasn’t being followed outside. He watched Hermen simply waive him away and slam the front door after yelling at him to stay outside for the night. A few moments later, he unexpectantly heard Ragnor calling him over to his porch, asking him if he wanted to watch television for a while.

They sat in Ragnor’s living room without talking. Eventually, Ragnor left the room only to return with milk and cookies, which he cautiously slid onto the coffee table in front of Magnus. Magnus didn’t know why, but he didn’t ask questions either because his neighbor didn’t seem like a stranger; instead, he felt like a friend. That night he had accidentally fallen asleep on Ragnor’s couch during his fourth episode of ALF. He woke up comfortably the next morning with a thick blanket surrounding him.

Since then, he had spent random nights throughout the years on Ragnor’s trusty green velvet couch, watching old T.V. show marathons and playing chess.

\--

Growing up, Magnus and Alec were like two peas in a pod. Occasionally, Jace would get jealous. He was a year younger than Alec and Magnus. He had been adopted by the Lightwoods when he was only a toddler. He most certainly did not like sharing his brother. Jace would sometimes instigate a shoving match with Magnus, which Alec would often step in to break up.

On the hotter summer days Izzy would join in on water balloon fights with the three boys. She didn’t have tea parties, but sometimes she would invite them all to her little toy laboratory to make play-doh and slime and imaginary potions together. She was two years younger than Alec and Magnus, but she was the most brazen of them all. Where Alec had a somewhat shy and reserved demeanor, Izzy was a cool yet confident orb of energy.

The Lightwood family liked to take their boat out on the lake – especially during the summers. Magnus was invited to come along, but he refused politely every time. He had not gone into the water since the night he met Alec, and he knew he would be just fine if he never did so again. The water was fine enough to look at, but he could never be in it. Just the thought of being on a boat, on and surrounded by the lake, made him lose his breath in panic.

On one of these days, when they were all still very young kids, Jace acted like a little brat and teased Magnus about it, calling him a scaredy-cat who was too afraid to get wet. He latched onto Magnus’ arm and started dragging him from the grass toward the water.

“Come on, Magnus,” the blond boy called out to him, “It’s not that bad. Don’t be scared.”

Magnus dug his heels into the ground and shook his head vehemently. The two boys’ arms stretched between them like a rope in tug-o-war, Jace laughing as he tried to wrestle him down to the water. Magnus couldn’t contain his scream as he desperately pulled back, clearly terrified.

Suddenly, Alec was beside him, shouting at Jace to stop. He stepped between them and broke their hands apart. “Don’t do that again, Jace. Ever!” Alec scolded his brother with an angry glare.

Jace’s face fell in surprise and shame, unprepared for Alec’s serious reaction. “I was only playing… I’m s-sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus nodded but didn’t speak. He stared silently at the ground and rubbed at his arm. Jace dejectedly wandered off to find Izzy, who was already out on the dock with their parents trying to zip up her life jacket.

Alec reached out for Magnus’ hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. After a moment he asked, “Do you want to go shoot some hoops?”

“You don’t have time. Your family’s already loading up the boat.”

“So? I go boating all the time. We’ll probably go out again this weekend anyway. Besides, I really want to beat you in basketball right now!”

Magnus felt his cheeks warm, a grin spreading between them. Careful not to sound too hopeful, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure, silly. Let me just catch my mom and grab some sandwiches for us from the ice chest before they leave.”

Alec took off, sprinting after his family to commandeer lunch for the two of them. Magnus couldn’t help the rare smile stretching further across his face as he went to find the basketball on the Lightwood’s patio.

\---

At fourteen, Magnus painted his nails for the first time. He used a black marker as he sat in the attic one night, spurred on purely by boredom. He found that he quite liked it, though, and so decided to continue. One day soon after, Alec came with him to the local pharmacy store to pick some dark shades of polish to experiment with. Alec even let Magnus paint his nails too for fun a couple of times, but Alec eventually decided he liked how it looked on Magnus much more than on himself.

Later that week, Alec’s very pregnant mother dragged him along to a sidewalk craft festival down a portion of Main Street on the way home after picking him up from his archery practice. He spent most of the time sauntering after her and kicking the gravel up with the tips of his sneakers, eager just to go home and play video games with Jace. 

A sparkle from one of the tables caught his attention at one point. He immediately noticed a heavy silver ring with a large letter _‘M’_ engraved as its center.

“Mom, I want to get this for Magnus!”

Maryse Lightwood looked from her son down to the ring, unsure. “You think he would wear that?” she earnestly asked.

Alec only nodded adamantly.

“I guess you know him best.” She smiled before turning to the gentleman merchant and making the purchase.

“Thank you! I’ll pay you when we get home.”

“Oh no, sweetie. You don’t need to use your allowance. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I want to pay for it.” Alec’s face became very determined. He avoided his mother’s stare and instead watched the man wrap the ring up in a tiny gift bag.

Maryse studied Alec for a fleeting moment before smiling again. She tousled her fingers through his floppy brown hair and gestured for him to take the new purchase when it was bagged and ready. “All right then, my sweet boy… You know you need a haircut before school starts, right?”

“Mom!” Alec groaned, ducking away from his mother’s touch. “People can see us, you know.”

They both started laughing as they walked back to the car to head home.

“Oh yes, how could I forget? You’re going to be in high school now. No dopey parent antics when in the presence of the public,” Maryse teased.

She honestly felt bittersweet over the fact her oldest child was growing up so quickly, despite the fact that she would soon have a newborn again to raise. She patted her stomach, wistfully wondering exactly how the years spent raising her children occurred both in slow motion and at warp speed simultaneously.

\---

The first day of high school ended up being the first time Magnus tried wearing makeup, but he mostly did so to hide the nasty mark his stepfather had given him over the weekend. No matter how careful Magnus was, every few months or so, he would inexorably cross Hermen’s path, like entering the eye of the storm.

Magnus studied himself in the mirror the morning before school started. He let out a shaky sigh and traced his fingers over the darkening bruise around his left temple. “This simply won’t do,” he muttered and began digging his hand through the shopping bag he brought home yesterday. Pulling out a bottle of concealer, he quickly got to work.

He smiled when he could no longer see the purple skin on his face. He didn’t need questions the first day of school. More importantly, he didn’t want to worry Alec.

Magnus stared at his reflection, unable to stop from getting lost in solemn thoughts. He was helpless and scared and frustrated. He reviled these feelings, but they had been a part of him for so long already that it was hard to imagine life without them. Honestly, he would settle for feeling just a little stronger once in a while.

After another brooding moment in front of the mirror, he composed himself and began rooting around again in the shopping bag. He pulled out a black stick and determinedly started applying the thinnest line of black eyeliner. A tiny laugh of surprise escaped his lips as he admired the new look. “It’s like my war paint,” he whispered to himself.

He honestly felt a little bit better when he left for school that morning.

Alec’s face broke out in an approving grin when he saw Magnus in his new look. The two boys fell silently in step with each other as they made their way to the bus stop.

Alec kept stealing glances over at his friend, and it made Magnus self-conscious. Suddenly, Magnus halted there on the road. Alec took two more steps before he realized the other had stopped moving; he spun around to look back. “What are you doing?”

Magnus looked up at Alec with a cautious expression. He asked quietly, “Do you not like it?”

Alec’s breath stopped momentarily when he felt a sudden fluttering sensation in his chest, reacting to Magnus’ uncertain yet expectant expression. He stepped closer and stared at Magnus’ face for several silent moments, studying the subtle differences. Alec wasn’t sure what had caused his chest to flutter, but he was quite certain he liked how excited it made him feel.

He realized he was staring too long when Magnus broke eye contact and lowered his head, shoulders slumping as he suddenly became very interested in the pebbles he kicked around at his feet. Alec didn’t like the change in the other boy’s demeanor. He’d seen it before.

“Magnus,” Alec spoke softly. He reached out and touched Magnus' chin, tilting his friend's face up when Magnus made no such effort to do so on his own. They gazed directly at each other again. The fluttering sensation kicked up another notch, causing Alec’s grin to widen.

“I like it. It looks really good. _You_ look really good.”

At Alec’s earnest approval, Magnus let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in. Then, Alec grabbed Magnus’ hand without warning and hastily dropped something into his palm.

“What is this?” Magnus asked, staring down at a silver ring.

Alec just rubbed the back of his own neck awkwardly as Magnus continued to examine it.

“Alexander?” Magnus probed as he looked over to him, expectantly.

“I, uh – I was on Main Street the other day. I saw that and um, I thought of you, so I got it in case you might like something like that. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t … if you don’t like it, I mean. Yeah…”

Both boys were blushing at this point, and neither quite knew why.

“I absolutely love it!” Magnus declared and quickly began slipping it onto different fingers to find that it fit best on the middle one of his left hand. He held his hand out to admire the new addition alongside his jet-black nails.

“Yeah?” Alec grinned as a breathy, honest laugh slipped out, certainly brought on by his relief at Magnus’ positive reaction to the small gift.

Magnus thanked Alec over and over as he admired the ring while the two continued on their way to school. When they were much older, Magnus would point to this day as the day his obsession with rings first began.

\---

Shortly after the school year began, the Lightwood family welcomed its newest member; Max Lightwood was born. Having a new brother didn’t really change much for the older siblings. Max was too young to play with; he literally cried and pooped most of his days away anyway. Maryse laughed as her three older children refused to believe how much of a handful they themselves had been at that age. 

Now there were four instead of three, but the only difference Alec clearly recalled noticing is that the house had gotten louder. Baby screams and an increasing number of parental spats, which seemed to come from nowhere, had now become everyday events.

\---

When Magnus turned fifteen, Ragnor helped him get an hourly job with his friend, Catarina Loss, who had recently moved to town and opened a gift shop on a corner of Main Street. Much like he had taken to Ragnor, Magnus became quite fond of the soft-spoken and caring woman.

Magnus was thrilled at the opportunity to be able to earn money for himself. Before that, he had grown up surviving on the scarcely stocked pantry of the house whenever he wasn’t with Alec and his family or with Ragnor. On birthdays and Christmases, he was mortified that he never had anything to gift Alec. With a job, though, Magnus now felt a sense of order over his own life that he hadn’t experienced before. It was then that Magnus first realized he liked the feeling that came from having such control in his life.

He worked as many hours as possible during the school year and full-time over the summer. He dutifully saved much of his bi-weekly earnings. He only splurged on Alec, taking him to the movies or inviting him and his siblings out for ice cream.

\--

Shortly after Alec turned sixteen, his parents announced they were getting a divorce. Alec knew why but didn’t tell anyone that he did. He had overheard his mother crying when she was on the phone explaining it to his aunt. She had found out he had been cheating on her. Alec was devastated by his father’s actions and how they impacted his mom.

Izzy took the divorce the hardest, but Alec stayed loyally by her side throughout the hardest days, trying his best to cheer her up. Magnus spent more time than usual at the Lightwood residence in those months, trying to do the same for Alec. He found small ways to support the family, like washing dishes or taking out the trash. He helped Alec and Jace take on the yard-work after their dad moved out. Though the separation was difficult, everyone felt a certain sense of relief in the end because at least the unsettling tension and emotional arguments ended.

Magnus and Alec only became closer in their junior year of high school. Their bond grew stronger than most friendships ever could. It developed into something more, leading their relationship to become … undefinable. The boys had always had love for each other, but it had been a chaste love until recently.

When they were both seventeen and in the final months of their junior year of high school, strong new emotions began to bubble to the surface. Romantic affection. Blossoming lust even. These palpable feelings swirled between them, creating an ever-present need in each boy to be close to the other.

They could not define what they were to each other now, but even though that lack of clarity made them confused and uncertain, Alec and Magnus were comfortable with their fondness around one another. Both were eager to explore these unspoken feelings, even if it was only when no one else was looking.

It was on one of those first exploratory evenings that the floor of Magnus’ world threatened to drop out from beneath him.

They were sitting on Alec’s couch in the basement on a Saturday night studying for the upcoming week’s biology final. Alec had called for a study break and tried to snatch the study packet from Magnus’ hand, who held it over the edge of the couch to keep it out of reach.

“Come on, Alexander. We can do this. We only have ten questions left.”

Alec wasn’t convinced and leaned further over the couch, over Magnus, still reaching with long arms. Within seconds, Alec snatched the packet from Magnus, who immediately pouted and began tickling Alec to intercept. They both broke out into fits of laughter as they wrestled playfully until they lost balance and toppled off the couch, spilling onto the carpet.

Magnus had landed on top of Alec; they were chest to chest. Suddenly, the laughter stopped. They could each hear the other trying to catch their breath as startled brown eyes gazed into wild hazel ones. One moment passed, and then another, without anything happening.

Magnus dipped his head down another inch closer to Alec before hesitating. He paused, observing Alec’s expression, but it gave no clues on how Magnus should proceed. Instead, the flecks of green and brown that swirled into a perfect hazel color captured Magnus’ attention for a fleeting second.

Alec continued panting as he stared up at Magnus, watching how his dark hair fell into his face. Without thinking about it, Alec reached up and swept the hair out of Magnus’ eyes. Magnus couldn’t stop himself from flinching from the sudden movement, but Alec continued, undeterred. He wrapped his fingers along the back of Magnus’ neck and gently coaxed him down as he leaned up until their lips connected clumsily. Within seconds, Alec’s lips covered Magnus’ in a hungry kiss, and Magnus reciprocated eagerly.

The electric sensation was thrilling, explosive just like actual fireworks. All too soon, they broke apart for air. Alec was smiling around his gasps for air. “That was great,” he said as he opened his eyes.

“It was more than great,” Magnus panted, still pressed against Alec’s chest. Magnus noticed Alec’s grin fall away, replaced by a confused frown. Suddenly, Alec was pushing Magnus off him until they were both sitting upright on the floor.

“Magnus, what happened to your eyes?” Alec asked as he stared at the boy he had just kissed, alarmed.

Magnus’ heart dropped as he clamped his eyes shut and brought fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I-I don’t know.” It was a lie.

“They … weren’t brown. They were a different color … and glowing?” Alec explained, his hand on Magnus' shoulder as he continued to gape at him in surprise.

Magnus stayed deathly still and kept his eyes squeezed closed as he fought the panic surging through his body. How did such a perfect moment turn so horribly wrong? He had worked so hard to keep this part of himself unseen and out of thought, but now the monster had come out, and Alec would know...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think if you can!


	3. The Blue Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus works hard to hide something from Alec. Alec’s not convinced.  
> As after-school employees of Catarina Loss’ mystical boutique on Main Street, Simon and Magnus wonder just which Lightwood will be joining their team for summer. Magnus receives a gift that reveals Catarina and Ragnor may know more than they have led him to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Aesthetic: Created a Pinterest board](https://www.pinterest.com/Adaline_Blooms/shadow-lake-the-blue-door/) for vibes of what Catarina's shop, The Blue Door, might look like. Thanks so much for reading. Your comments are appreciated!

Magnus fidgeted in the swinging bench on Ragnor’s front porch, alone on a hot spring night after having just escaped from an utterly bewildering experience with Alec.

Ragnor wasn’t home, but he knew without a doubt that his stepfather was home next door. His decision was made for him then; waiting for Ragnor on his front porch it would be. At least there was a comfortable breeze ghosting his face as he glided back and forth on the swing in the darkening dusk; he was grateful for the small comfort. 

He replayed the last minutes with Alec from earlier that evening again in his head, unable to squelch the tangible unease crawling through his insides. His heart had been thrown. One delightfully dizzy moment he was absorbed in Alec’s plush lips for the first time. The next second, he was trying to suppress a horror-stricken flash of panic caused by what Alec saw in his eyes.

Over an hour later, Magnus’ hands still shook from the turbulent seesaw of emotion. He absently twisted a ring on one of his fingers. He stared without seeing the world around him. Instead, all he saw was Alec’s questioning face, stuck on a loop in his mind, further fraying his already unraveled nerves.

\--

_“They … weren’t brown. They were a different color … and glowing?” Alec’s hand had remained on Magnus’ shoulder. Both boys were still frozen on the floor of Alec’s room._

_Magnus kept his eyes pinched shut. ‘He saw them.’ His heart rate accelerated over such an admission. ‘No, no, no. This can’t happen.’_

_“Magnus, what’s going on?” Alec prompted him to speak._

_Magnus inhaled deeply and focused. He immediately felt the slight shift under his eyelids, letting him know that his irises had returned to their normal shade of deep brown. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times before chancing a glance at Alec. “What do you mean?”_

_Alec stared intently, eyebrows uneven and lips frowning. “It’s not there anymore. What the hell was that?”_

_“I’m not sure what you think you saw.” Magnus moved to stand up and hurried to retrieve his backpack from the floor beside the couch. Alec followed._

_“Magnus! I know what I saw. Your eyes are brown, but they weren’t a minute ago. They were bright, like bright yellow.”_

_Magnus merely shrugged as he quietly shoved the forgotten Biology study packet into a folder within his bag. He knew Alec wasn’t going to let the incident go when he sensed his friend still gawking at him from the side._

_He sighed and raised his shoulders to shrug again. Magnus did not relish what would come next. He had kept things about himself from Alec, sure. But now, now he was going to lie to Alec. And that thought made his stomach churn almost instantly._

_“I-I think it’s from this medication I just started taking. My-my neighbor, Ragnor… He took me to the doctor the other week because I, um, I keep getting these migraines. They said there might be some side effects."_

_He peeked up to Alec, whose whole face had contorted into a blunt expression that seemed to simply say, ‘What the hell?’_

_“I’ve never heard of any type of medicine that causes eyes to change color,” Alec challenged._

_Magnus looked away again with another shrug. “It’s a newer drug, and it’s really rare for it to even happen. Something about the retina’s interaction with sunlight in certain um, positions. It’s happened only once before... Maybe you looked at my eyes when the light from the sunset through your window there hit in a very certain way, and it made it seem more than what it really was…” Magnus fumbled with the zipper of his bag, knowing his voice surely sounded as weak as the excuse he was trying to spin._

_Alec’s gaze grew no less skeptical, but he didn’t question Magnus’ explanation further. “You didn’t tell me you’ve been getting migraines.”_

_“It hasn’t been until just recently.”_

_“Still, why didn’t you say you anything? If it’s serious enough that you need pills for it...”_

_“Alec. Stop. Please.” Magnus shook his head in exasperation. “I don’t need to tell you every mundane detail of my life, do I?” He waved his hand errantly and slung the backpack over his shoulder, desperate to downplay the conversation. He winced as he caught the flash of pain on Alec’s face._

_“You’re right. I guess you don’t.” Alec was trying not to sound hurt, busy slipping a look of indifference over his stunned features._

_They both stood eerily still for a long moment, suddenly awkward in front of each other like they never had been before._

_“I um, I’m not feeling too great now, actually. I think, I think I should head home. I have to be at work early tomorrow anyway.”_

_“Um, yeah. Sure, okay.”_

_“See you later?” Magnus asked, already walking to the door. He looked back as he left, just in time to see Alec nod with a decidedly forced smile. His once-again heavy heart sunk a just little further from the sight._

_\--_

Magnus didn’t realize Ragnor had arrived home until he felt the bench jostle and the older man settled down beside him on the swing.

“This is quite a way to spend your Saturday evening, sunshine. All alone in the dark.” Ragnor said, cradling a brown paper bag in his hand. It smelled ... fishy. “Bad night?”

Magnus only nodded. Several silent moments slipped between them, the squeak of the swing the only sound.

“You can talk about it, if you must,” Ragnor finally prodded in his prickly way that Magnus had learned to see through years ago.

Magnus lifted his head and sighed. “I let someone see something I didn’t want them to see.”

“And how did that happen?”

“I … I lost control. I don’t know how. It's never happened to me before.” He watched Ragnor’s brows furrow.

“What came of it?”

“Nothing good. I tried to make an explanation, but I don’t think he believed me – not fully. It was horrible… Even if I want to tell him the truth … It’s nothing that I _can_ explain.” Magnus' voice fell over the last sentence.

Ragnor nodded. He didn’t ask for specifics, and Magnus wondered what the man thought he was talking about given the vague details Magnus spoke. 

He hadn’t cried in front of Ragnor before, which was why he was surprised to find himself tearing up at that moment.

“There, there. Let’s not get too worked up over this. It sounds like this someone is important to you, so I’m sure things will smooth over shortly.”

Magnus made no move to respond, very much unsure that things would smooth over as Ragnor suggested.

“I don’t want him to hate me, Ragnor. I always thought that if I showed him this side of me, he would. But after how he looked at me tonight,” Magnus sniffled before continuing, “…he was so disappointed. Now, I wonder that he might hate me if I _don’t_ tell him.”

Ragnor startled at the boy’s revelation, and he quickly stood up. “Sharing something when you're not ready isn't the answer. Come now. I’m sure things won’t look so bleak in the light of the morning. So, stop worrying your silly head now.”

Magnus swiped at his cheeks to dry them and nodded obediently.

“Did you eat yet, lad? Because I have fish and chips from Joe’s in here,” he exclaimed as he pointed to the greasy paper bag. “And I’ll have you know we’ve already missed the start of a Golden Girls marathon.”

Magnus knew he had smelled something fishy in that bag. He followed Ragnor inside with a small laugh, grateful for the moment of respite. Though, he was too worried to eat, and when it came time for bed, he couldn’t calm down enough to sleep.

\--

Magnus had to be at work by seven-thirty on Sunday morning. He worked at _The Blue Door_ , Catarina’s whimsical two-story gift shop located on the busiest corner of Main Street. It was one of the largest shops in Shadow Lake Valley, and it was often busy during both the summer and winter seasons when tourists flocked to the charming mountain town.

Catarina kept the expansive interior stocked with all sorts of trinkets and treasures. It wasn’t simply a boutique; it was a lot of things. Not only could one find those touristy knick-knacks like keychains and shot glosses with “Shadow Lake Valley” printed all over them, but they could also shop seemingly endless tables of eclectic, locally made items. The ceilings were vaulted, and in the middle of the first floor, a dramatic spiral staircase extended up to a lofted area that housed a meandering bookstore with comfy reading spots tucked into private nooks and even an accompanying coffee shop.

When Magnus made it to the shop for his shift that morning, Simon Lewis had already arrived and was waiting for him outside the building. Simon worked for Catarina too, as a barista upstairs. He went to the same high school as Magnus but was only going to be a sophomore next year. 

“Morning, Magnus!” Simon greeted with a happy smile as he pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning against.

Magnus hummed his greeting to the other boy as he shook out a set of keys from his pocket. He unlocked the door so the two could prepare for opening.

“Catarina said she’s hiring a couple of people to help with the summer tourist volume. Any idea who they are?”

“Nope,” Magnus responded, holding the door open for Simon before entering himself. He punched a series of digits into the nearby alarm system to disarm it.

“My best friend from middle school just moved here. I put in a good word for her with Catarina. You’d like her. I hope she gets it.”

Magnus hummed again, his mind elsewhere. He felt a headache forming; maybe a migraine. He felt like he deserved it for lying to Alec last night.

“Ready for the last week of classes?” Simon continued.

Magnus only shrugged in response.

“Well, I am. I can’t wait for summer to just be here already.”

Simon was at the beginning of a ramble, Magnus was certain.

“I’m totally psyched that I won’t be a freshman anymore either,” Simon persisted, following Magnus to the counter. “That’s for sure. And what about you, Magnus? You’ll be a senior. That’s so crazy!”

Magnus abruptly stopped walking and spun on his heel, which made Simon jump in surprise.

“Simon, if you want me to be perky this early in the morning, you’re going to have to prioritize _perking_ actual coffee.”

Simon nodded eagerly with a laugh. “Oh yeah, of course.”

Magnus gave him a small grin to soften the edge of his mood before Simon turned and happily bounded up the steps to set up the coffee counter for the day.

If Magnus was honest with himself, Simon had grown on him. He didn’t work as many hours as Magnus, but he was the only other student who worked during the school year too. Simon was one of the good guys, but he wasn’t one of the popular guys; he was just nerdy enough that the non-nerds considered him one. If they hadn’t been in different grades, though, Magnus was sure the two of them would have hung out more than just work together.

Magnus began to run through the store opening checklist. He pulled the cash tills from the safe and slid them into the two open registers at the front counter. He counted them down to a hundred dollars each, ensuring there were sufficient single dollar bills and loose change to start the day with, because yes, some people do still pay in cash.

It was then that he noticed two new employee packets with a sticky note attached to each one, lying in the center of the counter. It was the new-hire paperwork for the two summer employees Simon had just mentioned. One sticky note said “Fray” while the other had “Lightwood” scribbled on it.

His heart skipped a single beat. Could it be Alec? He hadn’t mentioned anything to Magnus, so he doubted it could be. Though, he didn’t mention one of his siblings having intentions to work there either, so he guessed it could go either way. 

Simon jutted down the stairs with two mugs and a floppy grin. He extended the bright blue one to him, keeping the black Darth Vader mug for himself. “Here you go, Magnus. I don’t know who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, but may this remarkable cup of coffee compensate for it!”

Magnus couldn’t control the small laugh that accompanied his eye roll as he stepped out from behind the counter. “Such a dork,” he muttered warmly.

Simon only grinned back and pushed his glasses higher up on his nose.

Magnus thanked him graciously as he took a large gulp.

“Lightwood?” Simon was looking down at the counter and had noticed the top new-hire packet too. “Which Lightwood?”

“I’m not sure actually.”

“Hey, you think it could be _Izzy_ Lightwood?” Simon continued, suddenly excited. He awkwardly added, “I mean, not that I care if it is. Because I don’t. Not really.”

Magnus creased his brows. “Um, that’s good to know, Simon, but your guess is as good as mine.”

The bell above the door chimed, and Magnus suppressed a groan. They didn’t open for another forty-five minutes, but he had forgotten to re-lock the door after turning the alarm off.

He looked over to see a petite girl with vibrant red hair and a friendly smile enter the store. He smiled politely back. “I’m sorry, biscuit, but we’re not quite ready to open. You’re free to look around till then, though.”

She looked at him quizzically, likely curious why a stranger had just called her biscuit. Magnus’ fondness for sprinkling pet names into everyday conversation sometimes threw people off. Magnus did it anyway.

The girl didn’t mention it, though, and just smiled again instead. “No, I’m actually here for Catarina Loss.”

Upon hearing the girl speak, Simon spun around from the counter, nearly knocking his arm into Magnus and his coffee.

“Clary?!” he belted before running over to her. He picked the girl – _Clary_ , as Magnus had just learned – up off the floor, scooping her into a warm bear hug.

“Does that mean you got the job? You’re going to work here with me for the summer?”

She nodded excitedly. Simon set her down and turned to Magnus, who held up the other packet.

“You must be Clary _Fray_ then,” Magnus said, pointing to the sticky note. Now they knew who one of two new hires was at least.

“Nice to meet you,” Magnus greeted as he walked over to her. “Catarina should be here soon. Simon told me you just recently moved to Shadow Lake Valley. How are you liking it so far?”

“Good, but my mom and I only got here Friday night, so I haven’t done much. I had finals to finish at my old school.”

Clary’s glance lingered only an extra moment at Magnus’ black finger polish and an array of silver rings as they shook hands. Magnus watched her face as she did so, her features softly formed a fresh expression of open sincerity punctuated by a bright smile.

Magnus considered himself intuitive about many things. He knew he was a lot to get used to for some people, and he could tell rather quickly after meeting someone if that person was going to have a hard time or not. Clary was not one that would have a hard time, he decided. “I like you already, even if you’re friends with Simon,” he teased.

They all three laughed. Minutes later, Catarina stepped inside. “Good morning, everyone,” she greeted them as she balanced two boxes in her hands. Simon moved to help her with them, but she gracefully swerved.

“Actually, _Magnus_ , can you take these to the back for me? They’re the new amethyst crystals for the window display. I need you to add them to inventory. Come, I’ll show you.”

Magnus readily took the boxes from her as she looked over to Clary and Simon. “Clary, I’m so happy to have you. We’ll get started filling out paperwork in a few minutes. Simon, why don’t you give her a tour of the place while I help Magnus in the back for a moment?”

“Of course!” Simon beamed as Catarina made her way to the back of the store. Magnus was already unloading the large, sparkling rocks from their boxes.

“I know how to add a new product to the inventory, Cat,” he said matter-of-factly, wondering why she wanted to help.

“I know you do,” she smiled. “I just want to see how you’re doing.”

He looked up and glared with a knowing smirk. “You talked to Ragnor, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean." She raised her hands up in mock innocence, returning a smirk of her own. “I want to give you something,” she continued as she sat down. She lifted her hands up together and uncurled her fingers to reveal a delicate necklace resting in her palms.

Magnus bent over and studied it curiously, not taking it from her hands. He saw a long black chain coiled from which a small emerald green marble-shaped stone dangled. The stone was opaque, and he could make out small lines of gold swirled within it.

Catarina slid the necklace into one hand so she could beckon Magnus to kneel with her other. He obliged. Once he had shifted, she was able to reach over his head and quickly place the object around his neck. She proceeded to tuck it under his shirt, smiling.

“What’s this for?” he finally asked.

“Who says it has to be for anything?”

Magnus stared, still questioning her with a confused expression.

Her lips flattened into a tight line. “Magnus, I want you to know that Ragnor and I are always here for you, okay?”

“Okay…. I admit I’m confused right now. What’s going on, Cat?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s going on. I just don’t say it enough, all right?”

Magnus smiled softly as he remained kneeling in front of her. “I care about you too.”

“Good.” She couldn’t resist tousling his hair a bit, though he quickly squirmed away. “You’re going to be eighteen by the end of the year,” Catarina continued. “It can be a challenging time.”

“What, senior year?”

“Yes, I guess. Everything, though. What I’m trying to say is that _everything_ may get challenging. Just don’t forget ... Ragnor and I are here for you if you need anything at all. And no matter what, be careful with yourself. Sometimes, it’s okay to hold things close. Sometimes, it's .... safer to keep certain secrets to yourself…”

Magnus felt a cold wave overcome him as he listened to what Catarina was saying. He tried to decipher what she was telling him because it suddenly felt like she meant more than the actual words she spoke.

“Magnus,” Catarina called for his attention, and she placed her hands over his cheeks, steering his gaze to hers. “The necklace will _help_ you.”

Magnus' eyes had grown as wide as saucers, unable to look away from Catarina’s serious face and terrifying words. “What do you mean it will help me?” he croaked.

“Consider it an extra layer of control, so you don’t let someone see what you don’t want them to see again.”

Magnus grimaced, tears springing from his eyes without his permission. He shook his head even as it was still cupped between Catarina’s hands.

Without saying it directly, Catarina just implied she already knew what was inside of him. It felt like she had cracked open his chest, dug through the soil of his soul, unearthed his most guarded darkness and was now threading it openly through her bare hands. He felt stripped down - unable to hide, unable to make himself or this moment disappear.

“Do you understand?” she questioned.

He jerked his head stiffly, only nodding once. His world was being turned upside down right then and there. He didn’t know what to do next. _Admit everything? Ask questions? Confirm she knew he had very inhuman, menacing energy swimming in his veins? Find out if she really knew the secret his mother learned shortly before killing herself?_

“Magnus, it’s okay. Breathe, honey.”

He hadn’t realized his breaths had started to come out more like panicked gasps. Catarina’s dark eyes were still soft as she looked at him, though. There was no hate in them, only concern, and it confused Magnus even further. _Maybe she didn’t know. How could she look at him with such care if she actually knew?_

Catarina removed her hands from his face, and she used them now to rub his arms up and down in an attempt to provide comfort.

“It’s going to be okay. Are you listening to me, Magnus?”

He wiped his eyes and sniffled, just once before he found his voice. “I’m fine,” he uttered.

“Ragnor mentioned you didn’t get much sleep, if any, last night. I want you to take the day off.”

Normally, Magnus would decline such an offer, but he knew he couldn’t be there with Catarina for the day. Too much of his world had just shifted, and he was left reeling and exposed. He had to get away from everything and wrap his head around ... whatever this new situation had become.

“Okay,” he whispered as he raised himself from his knees.

“I care about you, Magnus. I meant it when I said Ragnor and I are here for you.”

Magnus couldn’t smile or speak, but he found the courage to look at her directly and nod, hoping she would see in his eyes that he would be okay. At least, he hoped something within him still believed he'd be okay.

He quietly made his way out of the backroom, wanting to slip out of the store before Simon and Clary returned from upstairs. He kept his head down, sheepishly hiding tear-stained cheeks and red eyes.

Before he could regret the clumsy decision to not look where he was walking, Magnus ran smack into a stiff shoulder. His speed and the unyielding force caused him to lose balance and stagger backward. He immediately felt a sturdy hand grip his arm, helping him steady himself. He rubbed his forehead gingerly and looked up to find not one, not two, but all three older Lightwood siblings had arrived and were now staring at him. His gaze fell carefully to Alec, who still held him by his arm. 

"Are you okay?" the taller boy asked Magnus.

Despite knowing his whole world was quite possibly spinning off its axis and that only a moment ago he wanted nothing more than to disappear, Magnus felt shocked by the overwhelming relief swelling in his chest at just the unexpected sight of Alec, standing there in front of him. "No, Alexander, I'm not," he whispered before he could even think to stop himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Your comments are appreciated!
> 
> **Next Chapter:**
> 
> -Alec looks for a way to help Magnus, even though he knows he's still being kept very much in the dark.  
> -Simon and Magnus find out which Lightwood they'll be working with over the summer.  
> -Izzy plans summer house party for her birthday while Maryse is out of town.


	4. The Party at the Lightwoods'

Izzy stood at the front of Catarina’s boutique in between her brothers. The trio had just entered when their friend, Magnus, appeared from the back of the store and proceeded to walk without seeing, bumping straight into Alec; he landed hard enough to stagger backward.

“Watch where you’re going, you goof,” Jace laughed as Alec gripped Magnus’ shoulder to steady him.

Izzy saw Alec’s unwavering concern immediately slip into place like a superpower. Her brother, ever the protector, especially when it came to his siblings and Magnus Bane.

She felt a twinge of worry when she heard Alec quietly ask if Magnus was okay. His tone sounded heavy as if alluding to more than just what happened a moment ago. That twinge grew more troublesome when she heard Magnus respond that no, he wasn’t okay. Magnus was always the one who used the phrase, “I’m fine” so frequently that it eventually lost all meaning. Admitting otherwise sounded serious to Izzy.

Before she could pry herself into the conversation, though, her attention was captured by Simon Lewis walking up to them with a red-headed girl beside him.

“Well, hello, Lightwoods. Nice to see you here this fine Sunday morning. I want you all to meet my best friend, Clary Fray.”

Izzy kept her face expressionless, simply looking the pair up and down for a moment. Beside her, she noticed Jace step up and saunter over.

“Clary, huh? I like it. I’m Jace.”

Izzy shook her head, fully aware Jace was transforming into full-on flirt mode before their very eyes as he approached the girl, an obnoxiously cheesy grin plastered on his face. Izzy focused on Simon and Clary’s hands, which were clasped together between them. _Interesting._

After a moment, Izzy stepped up and nudged Jace off to the side, effectively saving her brother from self-inflicted embarrassment, she was sure. “I’m Izzy…. So, you’re just visiting, Clary?”

“No, actually. I just moved here last week.” Clary smiled, but her excitement nearly faltered when Izzy continued looking at her with an unreadable gaze as if sizing up something about her.

“Clary will be working here for the summer,” Magnus chimed in from the side to break the moment’s silence. Alec’s hand still lingered on Magnus’ arm.

“Well, that calls for a welcome then,” Izzy began. “It just so happens my birthday is this weekend. Why don’t you come to my party Friday night, Clary?”

Clary let out a relieved sigh at the offer. “Yes, absolutely. That sounds great.”  
  


“So a party, huh?” Simon wondered aloud, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

Izzy merely nodded but said nothing. Simon began to break into an immediate sweat at the long lull in conversation; he squirmed where he stood next to Clary.

After pausing for another long moment, Izzy finally smacked her dark red lips and grinned. “Yes, a party. You come too all right, Simon?” she finally offered casually.

“Okay. Awesome. We’ll be there!” he exhaled with a goofy grin and a nod before he changed topics. “So why are you all here today anyway?” A dawn of realization hit him. “Oh, I just remembered. Magnus and I figured out one of you might be working here for the summer, yeah?”

Magnus glanced back to Alec, abruptly curious. He too had forgotten the second new hire packet with the name “Lightwood” written on it.

Simon tried but failed to hide his hopeful expression when his puppy eyes fell back on Izzy.

Suddenly, it was Jace who raised his hand and spoke proudly, “That Lightwood would be me!”

Unhappily surprised, neither Simon nor Magnus could quell audible groans. They were both clearly disappointed.

Izzy laughed out loud upon hearing their simultaneously dissatisfied reactions.

Clary seemed to be still deciding whether she should be impressed or irritated by the blonde boy grinning in front of her.

Alec just rolled his eyes, completely uninterested in the conversation while knowing Magnus stood before him looking unhappy and tired.

Jace seemed oblivious to it all. “I’m stoked to join the team, especially now that I’ll get to know the lovely Clary Fray.”

“Izzy, we should get going,” Alec told his sister before turning to Magnus, who was busy stifling a yawn. “What time do you get off work?”

“Now, actually. Cat just gave me the day off.”

Magnus’ response concerned him as much as it relieved him. It wasn’t like Magnus to accept a day off when he was scheduled to be there, but Alec knew he must not have had a good night and needed rest.

“Come home with us then. We just came to drop Jace off for his first shift.”

Izzy nodded and moved to slink her arm around Magnus’ waist. She nuzzled him into a brotherly hug, prompting a warm-hearted smile to creep onto Magnus’ face. The three said their goodbyes and went on their way.

\--

Magnus had trouble staying awake for the short ride back. Alec noticed from the rear-view mirror that he was dozing off.

“Is Magnus all right?” Izzy’s whisper from the passenger seat caught his attention.

“Yeah, just seems tired.”

“Well yes, I see that. But, did something … happen? You two had an odd vibe going on at Catarina’s place.”

Alec scoffed, secretly startled by Izzy’s perceptiveness. He felt her looking at him expectantly. He glanced up to the mirror again to see Magnus’ head had stopped bobbing around and finally settled against his chest as he napped. Alec felt calmness settle over him; Magnus looked relaxed as he slept.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Izzy.”

“Whatever.” She was not convinced but chose not to pursue the matter further. “Just make sure he’s okay.”

“Always… Now about this party.”

“Alec,” she groaned. “You said you were okay with it. Mom will be out of town with Max, the school year’s over, and there’s only going to be like, twenty-five people, tops.”

Alec gripped the steering wheel tightly and sighed. It was the first time the Lightwood siblings were going to throw a house party. As the oldest, Alec felt responsible for his siblings, and he didn’t especially like breaking rules. “I know, I know. I just don’t want it to get out of hand.”

“It won’t. I promise. Try not to worry so much, big brother. Now, can we stop for waffles?”

“Yeah, but for carry-out.”

After Izzy had picked up breakfast, Alec drove the three of them home. When he pulled into the driveway, Izzy turned back to their friend and shook his knee. “Hey, Magnus. Wake up. We’re home.”

Magnus lifted his head drowsily and made out Izzy’s face through fuzzy eyes. He smiled, rubbing his face sheepishly. The car door beside him opened, and he saw Alec standing there. “Let’s get inside. It’s starting to rain.”

\--

Magnus scrolled through movie titles mindlessly on Alec’s flat screen. He landed on an old movie, Back to the Future. He’d watched it before with Alec but wouldn’t mind seeing it again. He had just replaced the remote control on the side table when Alec entered the bedroom carrying a small tray.

“We have takeout from Annie’s Cafe. I got you waffles and eggs,” Alec grinned.

“Excellent! How did you know I was famished?”

“I may have heard your stomach growl in the car.”

“Oh.” Magnus fiddled with his ear cuff as Alec stifled a laugh. Magnus quickly accepted the container his friend offered him. “Thank you.”

“Of course. So, other than hungry, how do you feel?”

“Fine,” Magnus quickly responded and shoveled a spoon of scrambled eggs into his mouth to avoid elaboration. He burned his tongue but didn’t care.

They both could hear the rain outside; it had just started to fall heavier and filled the silence between the two friends.

In general, Alec had come to read his best friend quite fluently. He knew Magnus had several tells. One, he always fiddled with one of his ear cuffs when he suddenly felt bashful. Two, he always said, “I’m fine” whenever he most certainly was _not_ fine. Three, he was quite the actor when he felt scared or unsure of something. Magnus never seemed to want others to see him feeling those emotions. It never stopped Alec from trying, though.

“It’s okay, Magnus. We don’t have to talk about last night or anything. I’m sorry if I pushed too hard.” Alec sighed. He wanted more but knew when to step back; he sensed the other boy’s sudden nervousness.

“No, _I’m_ sorry, Alexander… I’m just sorry I’m closed off when it comes to certain things.”

“Maybe one day soon you’ll open up to me?” Alec asked before hastily deciding to lean in close to Magnus, brushing his lips against his temple.

The sudden action caused glorious chills to ripple through Magnus’ body; he worked to contain a gasp of surprise. He nodded meekly instead. “Yes.”

Alec wrapped Magnus up in his arms and hugged him tightly, even as Magnus still clutched his plate. “I hope so. Nothing you could tell me would be too much. I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus melted in Alec’s arms, captivated. Alec’s touch was always quite the addiction for Magnus. But sometimes, Alec held him in such a way that it felt his touch was putting the pieces of Magnus’ broken spirit back together. Alec was like a human super glue for Magnus’ soul, mending him into something somewhat close to whole.

“Now, finish eating, and let’s watch a movie.”

\--

At the end of his work shift at The Blue Door on Friday night, Magnus waited for Simon to finish closing the coffee counter upstairs. Clary straightened up the bookshelves, and Jace was helping Catarina stock shelves in the back.

The four high schoolers would end their shift together at eight-thirty and head to Izzy’s birthday party together.

Overall, the final week of their school year had passed quickly and quietly. Magnus’ stepfather had been out of the state on business since Tuesday with no imminent plans to return sooner than the end of July. Naturally, Magnus was thrilled. He slept safely in his own room.

Throughout that week, he managed to avoid Ragnor but still had to see Catarina during his nightly shifts. He wasn’t ready to engage with either of them yet, truthfully. Catarina seemed to understand and gave Magnus the distance he appeared to need – until that evening. She stepped up to him by the front door as he waited for his friends, who were signing out and grabbing their things.

“Are you going to stay mad forever?” Catarina queried with a gentle tease in her voice.

Magnus shrugged and ran his fingers absently over a table of tarot card decks he had set up and priced earlier that evening. He didn’t look at her. A moment of silence passed.

“Don’t you have questions?” 

At that, Magnus stopped withholding eye contact and instead blatantly stared at her, shell-shocked.

“Do I have questions? How could you even ask me that? All this time I’ve had questions. And I didn’t know there was _someone_ to ask because you said nothing,” Magnus hissed as his eyes began to water. “I’ve known Ragnor since I was a little kid, and you’re telling me all this time he knew about what’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Magnus.” She lowered her voice, whispering, “Your powers don’t make you wrong, only different.”

Magnus glared at the ground and crossed his arms over his chest. Simon ambled up to them a moment later. “Everything good?” he asked after a second, picking up a whiff of tension.

Magnus nodded nonchalantly, relieved Jace and Clary had just joined them so they could leave. They said their goodbyes to Catarina, piling out of the store and into Simon’s car. Next stop: Izzy’s party.

\--

Magnus was social most of the time, but he simply couldn’t feel it that night. He opted to make a beeline straight to the drinks. He ended up at the kitchen island to pour a shot. He swallowed it down and swiftly followed it with another one before he realized Raj Sobti hanging out at the keg by the sink with a couple of other guys from school.

“Hey, Bane. I see you’re looking pretty dolled up there. My sister wants her makeup back.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, jealous of anyone who had been spared from meeting the human pest that was Raj, the resident wannabe bad boy of their class and a classic example of a close-minded person cursed with an always-open mouth.

“You hear me, Bane?” Raj grunted, unhappy to be ignored.

“Don’t hate me because I’m pretty, Raj. You should hate me because your girlfriend thinks I am. Dot’s her name, right?”

Raj glared and took a step closer to where Magnus stood but stopped when Jace entered calling for Magnus to pour him a shot. Magnus cracked open a beer for himself and proceeded to poor a shot for Jace.

“What’s up, Jace?” Raj greeted.

Jace took the shot from Magnus but looked up instead of drinking it. “Oh, Raj. Surprised to see you here. Who let you in?”

Magnus snorted, nearly spewing the gulp of beer he had just started to swallow.

“Whatever, Lightwood. Don’t stand too close to Bane or you might end up covered in pansy glitter.” Raj made to leave the kitchen, but Jace called him back.

“Hey Raj.” Jace raised his hand and lifted a finger in a crude gesture. “Well, look at that. My middle finger salutes you. Now seriously, _who_ the hell invited you?”

Raj flipped them off too but walked away without further provocation. Jace poured another shot next to his and handed it to Magnus. He held his up and waited for him to toast. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah. I don’t let people like Raj get to me.” Magnus clicked his glass against Jace’s and they both drank.

“Good. Because he’s a real prick, and I will kick his ass if he keeps it up. That crap's not okay.” Jace grabbed two glasses of beer and started walking off. “I’m gonna go find Clary, but take it easy, Magnus.”

Magnus waved him off with a forced smile before taking another swig of his drink. He’d only been at the party for fifteen minutes but had just downed his third shot and was cradling a beer in his hand. He wasn’t much of a partier and was therefore underprepared for the warm fuzziness now whirring in his core, relaxing him and numbing the anger he walked in with.

\--

Alec patrolled the first floor of the house with a trash bag and a frown.

Izzy’s party was still in full swing - crowded and loud - but not out of control. Alec collected wayward red solo cups he found discarded on the floor as he made his way through the living room in search of his siblings. Momentarily, he wondered why he couldn’t be just a normal, irresponsible teenager. He had not meant to become a mature adult before he was even a grownup. Oh well. He decided there were worse things to be and moved on.

He found Izzy when he heard her excited laugh over everyone else’s. He made his way to the sound, finding her in a circle of her friends by the stereo. “Everything good?” he hollered over the music.

“Great, big brother!” Izzy grinned and held her cup up in an imagined toast before turning back to her friends. “Don’t worry so much.”

Alec looked over his sister’s shoulder to see Jace and Simon sitting on the nearby couch along with the red-headed girl whose name he couldn’t quite recall. Simon sat in the middle but still looked like the third wheel as Jace and Clary chatted amicably over him.

“That Simon kid is staring this way,” Alec muttered with narrowed eyes.

Izzy turned to catch what her brother was glaring at but only saw Simon looking away with an innocent expression on his face as he tried to look fascinated by the plain beige ceiling above them. Izzy’s lips curled up in amusement. “Alec! Don’t scare him off,” she tried to yell over the music.

“You actually like him?” Alec asked, perplexed.

“I might.” She smiled warmly as she watched the other boy.

“Wow. Okay then. Hey, have you seen Magnus around?”

“No, but Jace came in with him when they got here after work. He saw him in the kitchen a while ago. I guess Raj was being his usual dick self.”

Alec nodded with a scowl. “Thanks, Izzy. Go back to enjoying your party.” He gave her a quick smile before making his way to the kitchen. He quickly deflated at the sight of every counter and surface lined with party cups and drink cans but no Magnus. He quickly gave up his trash crusade for the moment, dropping the bag to the floor and whipping out his phone. He typed a quick message to Magnus.

 **_Alec:_ ** _Where are you at?  
10:23 p.m._

 **_Magnus:_ ** _here  
10:25 p.m._

 **_Alec:_ ** _Where’s here?  
10:25 p.m._

 **_Magnus:_ ** _cn you gues  
10:27 p.m._

 **_Alec:_ ** _No. Tell me.  
10:27 p.m. _

Alec sighed, mildly amused. He started toward his bedroom, knowing by Magnus’ uncharacteristic poorly typed response that his friend was drunk. He jogged down the stairs only to notice his room was pitch dark and empty. He looked down at the ding of another message from Magnus.

 **_Magnus:_ ** _im whre you brke yr am in 5 th gradsz  
10:32 p.m._

Despite the atrocious text, Alec deciphered the message instantly. Magnus was in the place where Alec had broken his arm when they were in fifth grade. Damnit, Magnus was drunk and in a tree.

Alec hurried through his bedroom and out the basement door to the yard. Ignoring another large group of partygoers out on the patio, he made his way through the lawn and to a nearby set of trees about a hundred yards from the house. “Magnus?” he hissed as he peered up into one of the larger trees.

He called louder when he couldn’t see or hear anyone. “Magnus!”

A small fit of giggles drifted down from the leaves. Alec strained through the dark and was able to make out the tip of a black sneaker dangling from a branch. “Magnus, come down before you fall down.”

The giggles erupted into full-on laughter. Magnus’ laugh was so genuine at that moment, Alec couldn’t stop himself from joining in; he chuckled as he stared up, deciding how best to help Magnus safely down.

This tree had been their favorite tree growing up. The trunk was a bit gnarled and significantly slanted, making it easier to climb. Alec and Magnus would spend hours sitting on the thick branches, feeding birds and squirrels as they hid within the leaves. The tree became one of their secret hiding places until Alec fell out of it one day and broke his arm. His mother forbade them both from climbing it after that.

“What are you doing out here?” Alec latched onto the rough bark and started to climb. He reached Magnus in a matter of seconds, surprised at how much faster the climb was now that he was a teenager with long limbs. Both he and Magnus had grown up to be quite tall, even if Alec ended up just a few inches over Magnus.

“You found me,” Magnus murmured with glassy eyes and a soft smile. He leaned against the trunk as he swung his legs off the branch he was perched on. The night breeze picked up, rustling the leaves around them.

“What are you doing out here?” Alec asked again, standing with his left foot balancing on a lower branch where it nestled against the trunk.

Magnus just stared at him, as if he didn’t have an answer. Instead, he startled himself when a hiccup escaped his lips.

Alec grinned fondly. “I’ve never seen you drunk before.”

“ _I’ve_ never seen me drunk before,” Magnus replied with surprised eyes that widened like an owl. Alec broke into laughter, which sent Magnus into another giggling fit.

“Come on, let’s go inside. You don’t want me to break my arm again, do you?”

Magnus stopped laughing abruptly, concerned by the thought as if it wasn’t a joke. “No, no. Let’s get down. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, we’re low enough that we could jump safely. I’m just not sure if you can _land_ safely in the state you're in. Come here.”

Alec made quick work of helping Magnus maneuver off the branch and shimmy down the trunk with him. Moments later they were both firmly on the ground and only mildly sticky with tree sap.

Magnus staggered through the grass but still tried very hard to appear unaffected; he focused on his steps. Alec threw his arm around his waist to further steady him as they made their way back to the house, dodging the few people still out on the patio. He led Magnus to the bed and turned on a lamp.

“Why aren’t you enjoying the party?” Magnus asked with a concerned face.

“You know me. Too worried about the place burning down. Next party at someone _else’s_ house, though, it’s my turn to get tipsy, okay?” Alec pulled out a small package from one of the drawers and tossed it into Magnus’ lap. Face wipes to remove his makeup.

Magnus didn’t seem to notice them. He flopped back on the bed instead, staring up at the ceiling. “The room is spinning,” he said rather calmly. “Your bed is a merry-go-round right now.”

Alec snickered. “Are you going to be okay here while I check on Izzy and Jace? I want to see if I can break the party up a little early, or at least get most of them to go home… Magnus, did you hear me?”

“...They lied, Alexander,” Magnus whispered so quietly that Alec wasn’t sure he heard correctly.

Alec sat on the bed and leaned back to lay beside Magnus. Both their legs hung off the side. He could tell Magnus’ eyes were hazy from more than intoxication now; tears had welled up and were ready to spill over. “Who?”

“Ragnor and Cat,” he moaned, keeping his gaze straight up to the ceiling. “They lied to me.”

Alec stared at Magnus’ profile beside him, watching as his features pinched together to suppress a sob. Alec immediately rolled onto his side and covered Magnus' chest with his arm.

“But, how can I be mad … when I lied to _you_ , Alexander?”

“No. It’s okay.”

“But it’s n-not okay. I’m no different. When you’ve been … perfect. I lied too.”

“It’s okay,” Alec reiterated cautiously.

“I-I should have told you. My eyes. Why they’re like that.”

Alec couldn’t help but gasp. “No, Magnus. Let’s not talk about that right now.”

“You want to know. You deserve to know.” Magnus murmured.

“Yes, there’s nothing more I’d like than for you to trust me. I really want to know. But not like this... I’d be devastated if you woke up tomorrow to regret that you shared something you weren’t ready to…. You’re too drunk for this conversation.”

Magnus ran his hands through his dark spikes of hair in new frustration as more drunken tears fell. He started to breathe in shallow, rapid breaths that signaled panic.

“Please calm down, Magnus. You’re okay. You’re right here with me. Just try to relax.”

Alec cupped Magnus’ cheek, the skin still warm and flushed pink from the alcohol, wet from fresh tears. When Magnus’ breathing didn’t slow down, Alec reached for the package of face wipes and pulled one out. Not knowing what else to do, he took the wet cloth and started wiping at Magnus’ face.

Magnus fell silent from surprise as he continued to lay there on his back, blinking up at Alec through watery eyes.

“You’re okay. You’re with me,” Alec repeated after they locked onto each other’s gaze. “Just breathe deeply.” He continued to wipe away the other boy’s makeup in a comfortably tender quietness. "I sure hope I'm doing this right."

Magnus’ whimpers died down as each soothing stroke cooled his face. Mesmerized, he studied Alec's concentrated gaze, only closing his eyes when Alec guided the wipe close to his eyeliner.

Alec pressed the cloth delicately over his eyes, swiping gently and methodically as the black kohl fell away. Once finished, he tossed the wipe away and settled back down beside Magnus.

“Good job. See, you’re okay,” Alec whispered and brushed a strand of hair from his friend’s face.

Magnus let out a soft hum but didn’t speak or open his eyes. His breathing had slowly begun to even out.

Alec wanted to stay there next to him, but he had to check on the others. He forced himself out of the bed to grab a glass of water and aspirin. He had intended to make Magnus take it before going to bed, but by the time he made it back downstairs, the other boy was fast asleep, legs still hung over the bed.

Alec sighed, setting the pills and water on the nightstand before kneeling to take off Magnus’ shoes. As he undid Magnus' belt and worked it out of the pant loops, he caught the sound of a tiny snore that made his heart catch with fondness. He grabbed his friend’s legs and swung them onto the mattress before tucking Magnus under a sheet.

Magnus was going through something complicated and dark, and he was scared to share it with Alec. That night, Alec only became more determined to prove he would be there for him no matter how dark his secrets were.

Alec stared down for a few minutes, content from seeing the relaxed expression on Magnus’ features, a calmness that only seemed present during sleep.

“What are you doing to me?” Alec whispered with an excited patter in his chest. “Magnus, I think I love you more than you can imagine... Please let me in.”


	5. The Camping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec go camping. Ragnor shines a little light on a situation. We learn a little more about the magic. An accident derails a lovely day.

Magnus woke up alone in the late afternoon the day after Izzy’s party. He sat up sluggishly in Alec’s bed, but Alec himself was gone.

Though he had never experienced a hangover, Magnus knew the heaviness in his chest wasn’t from the alcohol. The weight came from a fear of what he might have done, or revealed, in his drunken haze the night before. _Had his cat eyes come out again?_

Magnus rubbed fists into his eyes, tired but determinedly crawling out from the sheets. His head throbbed at its temples, his stomach a touch queasy as he looked around the room. 

Alec had laid out a t-shirt and a pair of black basketball shorts for him at the end of the bed. Taking them with a soft-hearted sigh, he made his way to the bathroom, where he found another thoughtful gift from Alec; a bottle of water, two aspirin, and a tiny sticky note sat on the sink counter. ‘ _Take these, Magnus_ ’ it read.

He couldn’t help an affectionate smile from spreading across his face. He swallowed the pills through dry lips, momentarily relieved by the water soothing his parched mouth. He winced at his reflection when he noticed himself in the mirror. His dark hair stuck out in every direction and not in a fashionable way. His face was a little ashy. Almost all his make-up was gone, reminding him he didn’t know how his evening had ended.

Magnus pulled last night’s shirt off, catching sight of the golden-green marble hanging against his chest. He only took it off to shower, having worn the charm necklace every day since Catarina had given it to him over a week prior. She told him it would help him stay in control. He desperately hoped it had done its job last night then, but he couldn’t be sure.

Hesitantly, he removed the necklace and set it on the counter, feeling the lost layer of comforting protection, like a very much needed shield had just been stripped away. Immediately, he sensed the familiar buzz of electricity simmering up once again through his blood. As if it had been set free. His magic.

His magic. That which he had loathed and feared and tried to hide ever since he could remember.

His magic. That which would awaken each time the necklace came off, seemingly angrier than the time before last. As if it was offended by Magnus and his new charm. Maybe it was...

\--

Alec came downstairs just as Magnus exited the bathroom.

“Hey, you’re awake.”

Magnus nodded as he ran a hand through his damp hair, timidly stepping further into the center of the room to meet Alec.

“How do you feel?”

“Better now after a shower. Thanks for the clothes and the aspirin... So, just how bad was I last night? I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”

“Embarrass me? No, never. You definitely had a lot to drink, though.” Alec noticed that Magnus’ fingers were already tugging at his ear cuff nervously.

“I didn’t intend to. I didn’t even make it to Izzy to wish her a happy birthday.” Magnus’ shoulders slumped as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alec said and followed him down onto the mattress.

“I do, though. I was a bad friend.” Magnus reached for his phone on the nightstand, intending to send a quick apology and belated birthday wishes to Izzy. Before he could, though, he noticed the brief text exchange he apparently had with Alec last night. “Oh, gawd.”

“What?”

“Was that not a dream? Did you really have to pull me out of the tree?”

Alec chortled. Magnus covered his face with his hands but managed a hidden smile of gratitude for Alec’s lightheartedness.

“Yes, you were quite … amusing.” Alec refused to stop grinning. He gently tugged Magnus’ wrists, urging him to uncover his face. Magnus’ chin dipped down as he cleared his throat.

“Look, clearly sober me and drunk me are two different people. I can’t be held accountable.”

Alec laughed again. “I brought bacon burgers. Figured we could have a late lunch. I heard greasy food helps with a hangover.”

“Yeah, okay. That sounds good.”

They both moved outside to a table on the patio.

“Alec,” Magnus said before he unwrapped his food, drawing comfort from the warm afternoon sun.

“Hm?” Alec mumbled around the fries he had just shoved into his mouth.

“Did … I say or do anything else last night?”

Alec’s face softened at the question. He took a moment to chew his food and watched Magnus’ tense expression. “Like what?”

“Anything that was, you know … weird or abnormal, I guess.”

Alec pondered quietly, sipping his soda. When he saw Magnus’ eyes widen at the delayed response, though, he knew exactly what he would say and rushed to say it. He never wanted to be the source of anxiety for Magnus.

“No, nothing like that.”

Magnus expelled a breath of relief, which also relieved Alec. Magnus began to unwrap his hamburger. He lifted it to his mouth but stopped before taking a bite. Setting it back down on the table with a sigh, he turned to face Alec.

“I’m sorry about this. About how I am. I just can’t bring myself to talk about certain things. To anyone.”

Magnus and Alec had been doing this weird back-and-forth dance ever since the day Magnus’ cat eyes flashed in front of Alec. Magnus knew Alec suspected something and didn’t believe his lame story about medication causing his eyes to change. Alec knew Magnus realized it too. Yet, they continued to tip-toe around it.

“Can I say what I think?” Alec asked.

“Always,” Magnus said adamantly.

“I think deep down you want to tell me. But you’re scared. And that’s okay.”

Magnus’ muscles tensed. He stared ahead, watching drops of condensation trickle down the outside of his untouched soda. He bit at his inner cheek. Though he kept himself from looking at Alec, he certainly sensed Alec staring at _him_. It felt like a flashlight piercing right through him. Magnus was horrified Alec could see his darkness, maybe even hear his secrets in the silence.

Alec spoke again. “Just know that I’m here, whether you’re going to talk to me or not.”

Magnus managed a watery smile and after a moment said, “Somehow you’re unraveling me, Alexander.” And, Magnus wasn’t sure if he liked it. He was only sure that he didn’t deserve someone as good as Alec in his life; though, that wouldn’t stop him from doing anything to keep him.

\-----

“So, you, Jace, Izzy, and Magnus want to go camping on your own without me?” Maryse asked her oldest son as she feigned a pout and finished pouring herself a glass of iced tea. Alec sat at the kitchen table, trying to hold Max still on his lap, but the toddler continued to squirm.

Several weeks had passed after the party, just as they normally would. Soon it was early July, and Alec set out to convince his mother to let him take a camping trip.

“You can come too, mom, but in the last two years we couldn’t go at all because of this rug rat.”

“Yes, he’s still too young.” She came to sit beside Alec, quickly taking a sip of tea before Max was able to crawl out Alec’s grasp and into her arms.

“I don’t want to miss it again.” Ever since he was a young boy, Alec looked forward to the summer camping expedition his entire family made every year. Magnus had tagged along since he and Alec were ten. The arrival of Max coupled with his parents’ divorce had broken the tradition.

“And Jace mentioned something about a couple of other new friends coming too?” Maryse quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh, yeah Simon and Clary. Well, Simon’s not really new. He’s always, uh, been there, I guess. They work with Magnus and Jace at Catarina’s shop.”

“I want to speak with Simon and Clary’s parents, so they know there won’t be an adult present.”

“Mom, Magnus and I are practically eighteen now.”

“But you’re not eighteen _yet_. And, you need to give me the exact location where you’ll set up camp. Is that understood?”

“Yes.”

“And there will be three tents?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Jace will bunk with Simon and Izzy with Clary?”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Yes, mom.”

“And Magnus…”

A muscle in Alec’s jaw twitched, and he felt his cheeks grow warm. “What about Magnus?”

Magnus had been practically part of the family for so long, Maryse hardly ever questioned his continuous presence or his almost constant proximity to Alec.

“Just … how is he doing?” Maryse asked casually and took a long swallow of tea, all while leveling her gaze directly at Alec.

“Fine, why do you even ask?”

“He’s been spending most nights here the past few weeks – even more than usual. Not that I would ever mind. He’s such a help when he’s here – playing with Max and even teaching himself to cook with us as his guinea pigs.”

Alec swallowed back a satisfied smile, not completely unaware of the strange warmth he felt over his mother’s kind words for Magnus. “His lasagna last night _was_ really good.”

“Amazing,” Maryse agreed before she continued, “With your father gone and with Max and my work, I’m afraid I haven’t noticed perhaps as much as I should. How are things with Magnus and his stepfather?”

“Fine. Nothing new. You know his stepfather works a lot. That’s all.” Alec could count on one hand the times his parents had spoken with Magnus’ “stepfather”. Only Magnus and Alec knew that the man his parents spoke with was really Magnus’ irritable neighbor who agreed to fill in, in exchange for Magnus’ help with yard work one summer.

“Well, I’m glad he has us then. You are my two peas in a pod. You’re careful, right? With each other?”

Alec’s entire face fell blank in shock, unsure of but certainly imagining what his mother might be referring to. He suddenly heard his own heartbeat drumming. “Magnus is my best friend.” It was all he could think of to say.

Maryse gave her son a soft smile and squeezed his hand quickly before nodding. She seemed ready to say more but stopped when Alec’s expression closed up; he wasn’t ready for this conversation. Her eyebrows knitted in concern, but she managed to still smile brightly. “Sweet boy, I love you. And I trust you. Yes, you can go camping. Next year, Max and I are coming, though!”

\--

“Of course you have a checklist,” Magnus said, tossing the sleeping bags into the back of Alec’s car.

Alec immediately moved to rearrange them neatly with the other gear. “You’ll thank me later when you need bug repellant, and it made its way into our gear because of this handy checklist.”

Magnus chuckled, watching fondly as Alec tapped at the clipboard in his hands.

“I had less than a day to prepare since you and I are heading out a day early. Magnus, I still can’t believe you actually suggested that.”

“Why are you surprised?”

“I always thought you just tolerated these camping trips. That, and well, just look at your t-shirt.”

Magnus flashed a cheeky smile before looking down at his version casual attire; he scaled down to only two rings, skinny jeans, sneakers with thin, black-glittered laces, and a simple black t-shirt with the words, “Unhappy Camper” printed across the front. He wore only one necklace, his charm which he kept hidden beneath his shirt.

“I found it at the thrift store last week. Just thought it was funny.” Magnus smoothed a hand over the front of his t-shirt and met Alec’s gaze, his eyes softening. “And, I would tolerate anything for you, don’t you know that?” He delivered his words in a light-hearted tone, unsure if Alec fully understood just how much he meant them. “Seriously, I _do_ enjoy camping. Even if not as much as you do.”

Alec grinned, wanting to kiss Magnus’ smirking lips but settling for an affectionate squeeze of his shoulder instead. He glanced back down at his clipboard. “Okay, I think we have everything. You ready?”

“Ready.”

\--

Minutes later and they were on the road as Alec drove. They would be setting up camp at a slightly higher elevation. It was a half-hour drive up a winding road. Alec had sought it out earlier, finding it the perfect location to make everyone happy.

The site was an open, grassy area surrounded by tall conifer trees; Izzy preferred camping in lush, green scenery over patchy dirt or a pine needle-covered forest floor.

It was within walking distance of a nearby river, which meant Jace could fish.

The river was still far enough away that it couldn’t be heard from the tents, which ensured Magnus would be comfortable. One year, they camped riverside, and Magnus had struggled. He never admitted that it affected him, but Alec saw him toss and turn in the tent at night; the few times Magnus managed to drift off he woke up panicked as if escaping bad dreams. Alec surmised the constant sound of the close-by water lapping dredged up those bad memories, triggering the trauma. Even Alec, if he concentrated hard enough, could recall that night and the fear he felt as he pulled Magnus away from the crazy drunk man, who he later learned to be Magnus’ stepfather.

Sure, they lived by a lake - _the_ lake. But the lake was quiet and easy to ignore. The rush of river water was not the same. It was loud and constant, unrelenting.

“Hey Alec, where did you go?”

Alec blinked at Magnus’ question, pulling himself from the dark path his thoughts had just taken him as he drove. “Sorry, what did you say?” From the corner of his eye, he could see Magnus had picked up his clipboard.

“I don’t see s’mores on the checklist.”

Though he couldn’t take his eyes off the road, Alec heard the playful pout in Magnus’ voice.

“You think I would ever forget s’mores? It’s the first thing I pack.” Alec didn’t care much for sweet treats, but he knew both his sister and Magnus loved them.

“You’re spectacular,” Magnus said, tossing the clipboard to the back of the vehicle with a satisfied smile.

\--

They parked the car in a flat area well off the main road; it was a ten-minute trek to reach the location Alec had chosen.

Three trips later, the two of them had managed to carry everything they needed from the car. Quickly, they set up their tent. They decided to set up the other two tomorrow before the rest of the others would arrive.

Alec and Magnus fell into a comfortable silence as they settled in. Alec built the firepit with rocks as Magnus scavenged for firewood; they would be ready to start a fire come nightfall.

Just as Alec finished arranging the sticks Magnus found, he felt a sudden wet and cool sensation tingle on the back of his neck. He flinched in surprise but quickly caught a whiff of sunscreen and smiled, realizing that Magnus’ fingers were on his neck. He tried to squirm away, but Magnus tutted over him as he worked the cream over his skin.

“I don’t want you to get burned like last summer when we went biking in the hills. Remember how miserable you were?” Magnus continued rubbing and then moved to stand in front of Alec, now coating the skin above his shirt collar.

“I didn’t see this on your checklist either,” Magnus mused, waving the bottle in his hands before squirting out another dollop onto his palm. “Good thing it’s the first thing _I_ pack.”

Alec blushed. “Thank you,” he said with a growing smile, allowing Magnus to continue.

Next, Magnus began rubbing the cream up and down Alec's forearms. He flicked his eyes up to Alec’s, unable to stop his expression from melting into one of vulnerable affection. Alec’s pupils dilated.

“I’m going to rub some on your face now.”

Alec nodded before he felt Magnus swiping his fingers across his forehead.

A soft breeze drifted over them, and Magnus thought he could smell a whiff of lavender floating on the air. It mixed deliciously with the scent of the lotion and Alec standing beside him.

Magnus’ hands came to work another squirt of sunscreen into Alec’s cheeks. The always-delicate brush of his fingers slowed when he noticed the intense look in Alec’s eyes, his face only a few inches away.

Magnus was dying. Or, at least that’s what he assumed when a glorious, melting sensation spread inside him and overtook his ability to breathe normally.

He wished he could just tell Alec he loved him. No, not just, 'I love you,' but instead, 'I’m _in_ love with you.'

Magnus would not let those words cross his tongue, though. If he spoke them aloud, he was certain they would scare Alec away or change things between them, and that was too much to risk losing. So instead of saying anything at all, he continued to work the cream into Alec’s skin in soft caressing circles.

Eventually, Magnus broke their physical connection, forcing his hands away. But just as he finished capping the bottle, Alec’s hands flung out to grasp either side of Magnus’ head, holding him still.

“Alec-” Magnus started, curious by the sudden gesture.

Alec only responded by tilting his head down to bring his mouth against Magnus’. He sucked at the bottom of Magnus’ unmoving lips. Magnus remained still as a statue, and for a moment Alec worried he had misread the situation; maybe, Magnus didn’t want this like he did.

Just before Alec pulled away in dejection, Magnus eagerly sprung to life. The shock wore off, and he began to reciprocate Alec’s kiss. He parted his lips, letting escape a soft moan that Alec gobbled up hungrily.

The kissing grew deeper from need. Magnus’ hand came to rest at the back of Alec’s neck, his fingers pushing through his hair. When his thumb grazed over the back of Alec’s ear, Alec shivered in delight.

Their lips finally released each other's to catch their breath, and their foreheads came to touch.

“What are we doing?” Magnus asked through his panting.

“Do you want to stop?” Alec asked back, his breath heavy.

“No, don’t stop.”

They both laughed, each refusing to release their grip on the other as their lips smacked together yet again. The bottle of sunscreen fell to the grass, forgotten along with everything else. At that moment, all that existed in Magnus and Alec’s universe was each other.

\--

Clary hummed to herself as she swept the broken glass in front of the counter when she heard the door jingle. A slightly older gentleman walked in.

“Good morning, welcome to The Blue Door, sir.” Clary smiled when greeting the first customer of the day, who happened to be Ragnor.

“What happened here?” Ragnor asked, gesturing at the pieces of glass surrounding her on the floor.

“Oh, just an accident. I dropped one of these when I was dusting the display tables.” She pointed to a colorful pyramid of coffee mugs beside her.

“Does the store owner deduct that from your paycheck?”

“No. At least she didn’t last time. Catarina understands accidents can happen.”

“Last time?” Ragnor scoffed. “Maybe she should then. That or hire less clumsy workers.”

Clary’s grin vanished, replaced by a slack-jawed expression at the peeved man in front of her. She hoped this didn’t signal the start of a bad day. In her short experience working at The Blue Door, she came to notice cranky customers often appeared in spurts.

“Don’t pay any attention to him, Clary.” Catarina appeared beside her with a challenging smile aimed at the man. “This hostile toad is my old friend, Ragnor. He has a firm stick perpetually lodged …. well, you know where.”

Clary made a snickering sound. Catarina took the broom from her. “I’ll finish up. Can you check if Jace needs help sorting books upstairs?”

Clary nodded and bounded up the stairs, her red ponytail swinging behind her as she went.

“Ragnor Fell, do not unload your grouchiness on my staff. They’re teenagers, still just kids,” Catarina chided. She looked around before bending down over the shards. With the slightest swipe of her hand, the broken pieces magically slid from their scattered places on the floor into the dustpan as if pulled in by a magnet.

“I’m here to see Magnus. He still hasn’t spoken to me.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait, because he’s not here. He already left with Alec for a camping trip, and they won’t be back till Monday.”

Ragnor’s frown deepened. “How is he? That nutter of a legal guardian of his has been out of town this whole time, yet Magnus hasn’t been staying home. He’s actively avoiding me.”

Catarina’s stern expression softened over her long-time friend’s worry. “Magnus seems well. He’s not talking much to me either since he found out.”

“Has he asked any questions?”

“No. I can tell he wants to, though. He wears the charm. I can feel his magic is subdued when he’s here on shift.”

“I should have told him. A long time ago.”

“Ragnor, you did your best. What you thought was right.”

Catarina still remembered the phone call she received from him over seven years ago, explaining he had seen the neighbor’s child heal a dying animal near the street in front of his house.

\--

_“Are you sure you saw correctly, Ragnor?”_

_“Are you questioning my sense of reality, Catarina Loss? Yes, of course I saw correctly. I saw that tiny little boy run out after seeing the animal get hit by a car. A fox, it was, I believe. I saw the blue sparks and flame at the boy’s fingertips, and then the fox got up and ran away.”_

_“Do you think his parents are too then?”_

_“No. From what I can tell it’s just the boy, and he lives with a dodgy man – they are definitely not related by blood. His mother… I believe she died a couple of years ago.”_

_“Children are not good at hiding magic,” Catarina said, a warning tone._

_“I feel this one is different. I think … I think he needs some normalcy and security in his life. Not to call attention to why he is the opposite of normal… I will try to offer that where I can. Maybe look out for him when I can.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“He doesn’t show his mark, and he looked … almost angry after using his magic on that animal. He knows to hide that part of him. He seems a smart lad. He’s too careful for his age, but that will help him.”_

_“I’ve never known you to care enough to be so observant of others, Ragnor. Do you care for this boy?”_

_“No, Cat. Don’t speak nonsense at me. The boy’s home life seems quite less than idyllic, that’s all. He doesn’t need to deal with this other part if he can avoid it.”_

_“If you’re sure.”_

_“I’m not sure. But, I hope. I can just hope it’s the right path forward.”_

_\--_

“What I _thought_ was right doesn’t matter, Cat. What matters is that it wasn’t. I made the wrong call. Now, Magnus is seventeen with undeveloped magic coursing through his veins. He has no bloody idea why he’s different, what his powers mean or how to control them.”

Catarina shook her head. “I’ve never seen him use his magic. We both thought it was dormant. We both thought it was for the best.”

“Well, it was wishful thinking to believe he could make it to eighteen with dormant magic.”

“I gave him the charm, remember. There’s still time. You and I both know if his magic is inactive at adulthood, it will die. And then he’ll be free of it for good.”

“We need to tell him. I’m sure of it now.”

Cat nodded, solemn but in agreement. As much as she had learned to live with her abilities – to the point that she wouldn’t know what to do with them – she knew how they put her at risk. When she was a child, she hadn’t known there was a way to take the magic away. Even now as an adult, she wasn’t sure which choice she would have made back then. She was only sure that she should have been allowed the choice.

“Yes. We’ll tell him when he’s back. He will get to make the choice for himself.” 

\--

“We should head back, Alexander.” Magnus stared up at the dark clouds that had rolled in after they started hiking.

Alec finished tying his shoelace and rose to stand next to Magnus. He nodded up at the afternoon sky. “Yeah, it’s definitely going to rain soon. Come on.” Alec brushed his fingers against Magnus’ before grasping his hand, tugging gently to turn him around.

Alec’s warm touch elicited a dreamy smile from Magnus, who had already deemed this the best camping trip he’d ever taken. He and Alec did nothing but make out after setting up camp that morning.

No serious discussions followed. Only long gazes and flirting as they ate lunch lying next to each other on the picnic blanket. Still pumped with excited energy, they decided a long hike would be their afternoon activity.

Two hours later, the sun was hidden behind purple-clouded skies and lightning started branching out in the distance. Alec and Magnus began to make their way down the rocky hill. Alec took the lead and walked in front. Both boys fell into silence while they focused on their footing, carefully navigating the gravel, rocks, and bushes that dotted the slope. Soon, they both gained a comfortable rhythm, slow yet agile.

“What do you want to do when we get back to camp?” Magnus asked.

Alec glanced back at Magnus over his shoulder and smirked. “Maybe some more of what we did before the hike.”

Behind him, Magnus puffed out a bored-sounding sigh. “I _guess_ we could do that.”

Alec stopped so abruptly that Magnus ran straight into his back, the collision making them both slip a bit on the loose rocks.

Magnus grabbed onto Alec’s hips to steady them both.

Alec turned around and raised questioning eyebrows at Magnus' response. _Had Magnus not enjoyed kissing Alec as much as Alec enjoyed kissing him?_

After regaining their balance Magnus just winked teasingly, his brown eyes shining with mirth. “I was only joking, Alexander. I quite like what we were doing. In fact, I’m looking forward to a different kind of exploring with you tonight.”

Alec swallowed bubbling excitement as they started moving again, even more eager to get back to their tent. Alec’s pace quickened until Magnus asked him to slow down. Alec obliged because the trek down wasn’t quite the same as it had been going up. The slope’s steepness was harder to negotiate when going downhill.

Within minutes, warm raindrops started falling, fat and round. The steep terrain’s surface slickened, just as they approached the sharpest portion of the descent.

Magnus had taken to edging down sideways, digging his heels into the softening soil. “Take smaller steps,” he instructed Alec when he noticed Alec had gotten too far ahead of him.

Alec slowed down for a few moments, but soon the gravity and the slope propelled him back into a quickened rhythm of steps. He couldn’t keep his body centered as he descended.

It took just one unstable step. Alec lost his footing on a wet stone that sunk into the mud when he stepped on it, and he slipped forward precariously. His arms flailed out reflexively to recover his balance, but it was a failed final attempt.

Magnus shouted Alec's name when he saw him slip headfirst into a downslope fall.

Dirt, rock, and dark clouds. The colors of the earth and sky all blurred around Alec as his body tumbled down the hill, hitting bushes and rocks along the way.

“Alec!” Magnus screamed from further up the hill. Without thinking, he quickened his pace. Though, as soon as did, he felt himself start to slip too. He forced himself to slow down again and lean backward against the hill. “Alec, I’m coming!”

Alec's body stopped rolling many seconds later, roughly landing on a patch of flattened earth before the final dip that led to the bottom of the hill. Magnus could tell he wasn’t moving, which made his breath hitch in panic. He needed to get to him quicker. Not knowing what else to do, Magnus pressed himself back against the upward slope of the hill, leaning into it and using both his hands and his feet to scurry down, almost crab-walking to keep balance as he skidded down in a controlled slide.

Excruciating minutes passed that felt much longer to Magnus, but he eventually reached the perch where Alec lay motionless on his back, eyes shut and face slack. Magnus gasped over his best friend’s eerily still body. Patches of mud clung to Alec's pale skin; blades of wet grass were scattered throughout his disheveled hair. Blood oozed out of deep cuts that covered his arms.

“Alec,” Magnus whispered, his fingers trembling as they gently shook Alec’s shoulder. "Alec, can you hear me?" he called louder.

Gradually, Alec opened his eyes to stare at the sky above him, dazed. He blinked away the raindrops slapping against his face.

“Alec! Are you okay?” Magnus hovered over him to shield his face from the rain. Only when Alec attempted a smile did he feel any relief. Yet, any reassurance was short-lived when Alec’s face contorted painfully.

Magnus looked down at Alec’s left leg; it was bent backward at an odd angle.

“Can you move?”

Alec grunted and barely lifted his arms before he let out an agonized scream that startled them both. “My leg. I think it’s broken.”

Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand and looked again at the misshapen leg, this time catching sight of the rips in Alec’s jeans. Magnus gaped, bug-eyed, noticing what looked like a fragment of bone poking out from angry skin through the torn denim fabric.

“Is it bad?” Alec asked through gritted teeth.

Magnus forced his features into a blank expression before turning to Alec again and nodding. “It’s broken,” he managed without detail.

Alec turned himself as best he could, despite the sharp pain it caused, and immediately threw up. His vision started to blur. His ears were ringing, but he focused on Magnus’ voice beside him. Though he could hear the fear emanating from it, Magnus was the only soothing force in his world. He held onto the sound, using all his effort to stay grounded and there with him, even if it was wet and painful.

“I think you have a concussion,” Magnus said as he rolled Alec onto his back again.

“I’m sorry,” Alec mumbled weakly.

“Sorry? Don’t be sorry.”

“You need to go get help, Magnus.”

“I can’t leave you here, Alec. I won’t.”

“It’s okay.”

Puddles of muddy water collected around them as the rain started pouring in heavy sheets, creating tiny streams that trickled down the hill. Alec’s coltish frame began shaking. Magnus whimpered and scooped Alec’s head to lay gently in his lap.

“Magnus, please.” Alec’s voice strained, but Magnus knew his friend was only trying to sound calm for Magnus’ benefit. "Get to the car to see if there's cell service."

“I’m not leaving you here by yourself, Alexander!” Magnus shouted over the storm. Lightning flashed brightly, illuminating the entire area before throwing everything back into unnatural darkness. The storm clouds had become so thick that the afternoon looked more like late dusk. A crash of thunder boomed overhead, alarming them both.

“It's only getting worse…. Y-you can’t get me down by yourself. Please go.” Alec practically begged.

Magnus considered their options. Alec was right, as always. He was too injured for Magnus alone to get him off the hill and to the car. But it would still take at least half an hour for Magnus just to make it to the car on his own. Leaving Alec stranded on the hill as he bled into a growing puddle of water during the middle of a thunderstorm? No, that wasn’t an option either.

“It hurts, Magnus.”

Alec’s unnaturally feeble voice did more to chill Magnus’ bones than the rain ever could.

“I know, darling. I know.” Magnus pushed Alec’s drenched hair off his face and kissed his forehead. “I’m going to make the pain stop, Alexander.”


	6. The Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is forced to reveal his secret to Alec.

Alec was struck by lightning.

At least that was the first natural thing his foggy mind assumed. And it would be a logical assumption, even though incorrect.

The heavy rain made his vision blurry, but he could still see the brilliant flash of light. It illuminated the space where he lay near the bottom of the hill. A jolt of pain bloomed through his broken leg. The sharp sensation came so suddenly. It was hot and disturbingly electric. Even the hairs on the back of his neck stood up from the intense shockwaves coursing through him.

He heard howling in the distance.

“Just try to hold still, Alec.”

Magnus’ pleading voice cut through the blanket of fog shrouding his mind, and Alec realized the howling was really his own shouts of pain. He worked to focus his meandering thoughts, narrowing them to a laser-like concentration on Magnus, who was still there with him in the storm even if he couldn’t see him.

“Magnus,” he spluttered, trying to lift his head off the muddy ground.

“Hold still,” Magnus said again. “I’m here. Don’t move. It’s okay.”

It sounded like Magnus had moved further away but was still close. Alec tried to see through the bleary wetness and faltering skylight, but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes to keep the rain out and focused instead on breathing. In another minute he would again try urging Magnus to go and find help.

He clenched his jaw, digging fingers into the wet earth on either side of him as he tried to stop shaking. 

The pain from his leg was excruciating, but it was so constant that he was beginning to feel numb to its force. He could deal with that pain right now. It was the rain that was going to drive him insane as it pelted at his skin and drenched every last inch of him. Icy water even seeped into his boots as he remained flat on his back, shivering.

Another sudden blast of heat exploded in his leg. He sucked in a gulp of air, his body unconsciously trying to squirm away from the pain. He pushed himself up on his forearms and looked down to find Magnus crouching over his leg. That lightning struck again, a bright blue light pulsing in the tiny space between his own leg and Magnus’ hand.

Wait. That was most certainly _not_ lightning.

Alec squinted harder at the blue flame, hazily wondering how Magnus had produced a blowtorch and why he was pointing it at his leg. But then his muddled line of thinking sharpened, and through sheets of rain, he deciphered what truly was happening. What Magnus was doing. And his heart dropped in utter shock.

“Magnus!” Alec gasped loudly, but Magnus didn’t seem to notice.

Magnus continued to hover over Alec, crouched beside his broken leg. His dark brown eyes were gone, replaced by glowing yellow-green ones with cat-like slits. His expression was one of absolute concentration. Tiny blue flames and sparks streamed directly from his hand down to Alec’s body, dancing around the part of his leg where he felt the most pain. When Magnus brought his other hand up, the scene became even brighter.

Alec gawked in amazement, unsure if the pain was subsiding or if it was just masked by newfound adrenaline. Instantly, he stopped caring about being wet.

It seemed familiar to Alec. Not the current situation, but the feeling Alec was experiencing from it. His subconscious had felt this before, deep in dreams. Obscure dreams that had started after meeting Magnus all those years ago. Those abstract kind of dreams that were more feelings than visions.

Alec had only just begun to puzzle out what they meant after he saw Magnus’ eyes change for the first time.

It was an intuitive and primal sense that something otherworldly existed in Magnus. And it had just been validated. Magnus was healing him. Alec was certain of it now.

Minutes ticked by. Magnus was just as soaked as Alec. Locks of hair had slipped down into his eyes, but Magnus didn’t stop to push them out of the way. Silly as it seemed for the condition he was in, Alec really wanted to sit up and wipe them off his forehead for him.

Before he could muse further, Alec felt parts of his leg begin to shift on their own. Painful at first, the sensation quickly turned into a tolerable tightness. He stiffened, uneasy. He heard a soft, almost-clicking sound, and all the pain vanished after that.

Before Alec could even speak, Magnus moved away from his leg. He scooted up, his knees sinking into the mud at Alec’s shoulders.

“Magnus.”

Magnus did not make eye-contact or even acknowledge Alec had spoken. Instead, he closed his eyes and pressed his hands around Alec’s head.

Another jolt startled Alec, but it quickly turned warm - an almost fuzzy sensation. The tendrils of sparkling blue smoke swirled above him, glowing in front of his face. His dizziness disappeared. No longer burdened with shooting pain from the back of his skull, his mind brightened. Every sense became clearer. He even noticed the rain had started to lighten, though the storm clouds had yet to move on from the early evening sky. 

Next, Alec became acutely aware of Magnus’ hands trembling when they moved from his head to the cuts along his forearms. Magnus’ fingers were ice-cold on Alec's skin despite the fiery sparks spilling from them.

Alec stared at Magnus’ ministrations in wonder. His own skin moved to close over each cut, leaving only mud, rainwater, and the blood that had already been shed.

Magnus’ sparks sputtered weakly after closing the last wound. Alec noticed and realized whatever Magnus was doing to help him was taking a toll.

“Stop. That’s enough, Magnus.” 

“Not finished.” Magnus sounded out of breath. He reached across Alec and tried to grab his other arm, but he couldn’t hold himself up. He toppled onto Alec’s chest with a huff.

Alec wrapped Magnus in his arms and pushed them both upright, surprised he could do so with hardly any pain.

Magnus still hadn’t looked at Alec directly. He tried to grab Alec’s other arm again, but Alec moved it out of his reach. “It’s fine. Just a couple of scratches. I’m fine now.”

Magnus continued to breathe heavily. His eyes roamed over the rest of Alec’s body to be sure. Finally, he gave a stiff nod and hung his head.

Alec recognized the dejected way Magnus’ shoulders slumped. Magnus was quickly retreating into himself, closing off from the world. From Alec.

When Alec grasped Magnus' chin to tilt his face back up, Magnus stubbornly fought against it, refusing to look up at him.

The two friends’ world had just shifted in an unexplainable way. They both realized it, now that the immediate danger had passed. The secret Magnus had fought to hide his entire life had just been released into the wide open.

Despite the earth-shattering revelation hanging over them, Alec snapped to attention. They needed to get off the hill and out of the rain. He tentatively put weight on his leg, ready for an explosion of pain as he pushed himself to stand, but the pain didn’t come. He stood up and tested his ability to walk with a couple of soggy steps. He felt ... completely … normal. Normal as if he had not just rolled hundreds of yards down a rocky hill.

Magnus had taken every bit of his pain away. Relief and pride and pure awe swelled in Alec’s chest. But his happiness flickered away when he turned to see Magnus still kneeling as if unmotivated to lift himself from the puddle of muddy water he stared down at. 

“We need to get back to camp,” Alec said. Magnus remained silent.

“Magnus, come on. Please, let’s go.” Alec touched his shoulder, but Magnus remained despondent. “Are you okay?”

Alec heard a tiny scoff blow past Magnus’ lips, letting him know that he could at least hear him. Still alarmed, Alec couldn’t help himself; he grasped again at Magnus’ chin and pushed his face up to look him in the eye. The cat eyes had disappeared, but even though the brown irises were back in place, Alec shuddered from the absolute defeat he saw swirling in them.

It was Alec’s turn to worry. Deciding not to wait for Magnus to move on his own, he threaded his arms under the other boy’s and hoisted him to his feet. He quickly determined Magnus was unable to stand on his own. His entire body sagged against him.

“Magnus, you’re scaring me. Are you all right?”

“Nothing’s all right.” Magnus’ voice was sluggish and broken. He hung from Alec’s arms, unable to stand unaided. 

Alec tightened his grip to keep him from sinking back to the ground. With chests pressed together, they were close enough to feel each other’s breath. Magnus diverted his gaze, adamantly avoiding Alec’s pleading eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Alec whispered. “This is my fault.”

The words were tiny swords, weapons that pierced Magnus so fiercely that his eyes snapped up to Alec’s before he could think to stop himself. The movement made him dizzy. Alec’s tormented expression made him heartsick.

“No such thing,” Magnus said. He whimpered and shook his head.

A soft sob escaped him before his chin fell over Alec’s shoulder; he couldn’t keep his head up any longer. Magnus had never felt this physically drained before. For most of his life, he had avoided using his powers. In the last ten minutes, he had exerted more magic than he probably had in the last ten years.

“Not your fault,” Magnus mumbled. With that, he let Alec shift him around in his arms and guide them both down the last slope of the hill and back to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Follow me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/paige_age)  
>    
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://adaline-blooms.tumblr.com/)


	7. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys deal with the repercussions of Magnus healing Alec. 
> 
> Listening pleasure: ["This Year's Love"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCO2foLOkj4) was the song from my Shadow Lake "soundtrack" that played on repeat while drafting this chapter. Beautiful version of the song; original by David Gray.
> 
> tw: mention of suicide

Alec and Magnus were unnaturally quiet the entire way back to camp. The rain had stopped, and the only sound came from their footsteps sloshing through the mud as they trudged along under the ever-darkening sky.

Magnus couldn’t feel the pulse of magic in his veins anymore. His charm necklace lay somewhere in the mud, abandoned back on the hill where he had ripped it off to unleash the magic over Alec’s wounds.

As soon as he had healed Alec and knew he would be okay, he was overwhelmed by a naïve urge to run away, but Magnus could hardly even walk on his own, and he was shaking from cold.

Alec took the lead but didn’t speak as he hovered close by, never failing to catch Magnus’ arm at the elbow whenever his knees buckled. His closeness unnerved Magnus more than it comforted him.

That he exposed such a hidden part of himself… Magnus felt too much like he had done something wrong, and it kept him from looking at Alec.

Even though they walked in complete silence, Magnus’ insides were flipping and flopping around the weight of reality sinking deeper in his chest. _Alec knows now._

A tiny yet uncontrollable moan of despair slipped from Magnus’ mouth. Alec’s gaze fell over him at the sound, but Magnus didn’t dare make eye contact.

_Alec knows now. You’re going to lose him._

_Demon. Monster. Abomination. Unworthy heathen._ His stepfather’s repulsed screams. His mother’s tragic cries. Alec’s silence.

Loss and strain. Fear and self-hate. They were all voices in his head, shouting at him and growing louder with each passing moment - even as his ability to focus slipped further from reach.

_You’re going to lose him. You always knew you were going to lose him._

Those words played over and over. A loop that began drowning out everything else. It weighed Magnus down like a block of concrete, even as the edges of his vision darkened from exhaustion. Much to Magnus’ distress, Alec had to practically drag him the last several yards. 

Alec unzipped the tent when they finally reached camp, and they both stumbled into it with heavy breaths. They lay on the ground for several moments, tired and relishing the dryness of the tarp beneath them.

Magnus was splitting in half in the silence, barely able to contain the anguished cries clawing up his throat. One part of him wanted to reach for Alec and cling to him for dear life, begging for understanding and forgiveness. Another part simply wanted to dissolve into the cracks of the earth and never be seen again. Everything hurt. Everything was cold. He was going to lose Alec. The world suddenly felt like too much.

A violent shudder wracked his body when a breeze whistled through the open tent flap. Alec quickly got up to zip it shut.

Magnus startled when he felt Alec’s fingertips skim along his cheek. He desperately wished it were a gesture of acceptance, but he heard Alec hiss when he touched his skin.

“Damnit. You’re freezing, Magnus.”

Magnus flinched, finally looking up at Alec with apologetic eyes, embarrassed and remorseful for all that had just happened.

Something painful flashed across Alec’s features, and he turned away, leaving Magnus on the ground as he made his way to their bags.

A lantern they’d hung earlier shone brightly, giving Alec enough light to rummage for dry clothes. He sighed, disgruntled by the contents of Magnus’ bag. It only contained a few flimsy t-shirts and jeans, nothing at all overly warm to sleep in. He abandoned it for his own bag, hurriedly fishing out thermal shirts and pants, two pairs of heavy socks, and a couple of towels.

Alec unloaded his arms at the front of the tent where Magnus was now curled up in a ball on his side.

“Can you sit up?”

“I-don’t… I ca-can’t,” Magnus said but tried anyway. His arms shook too much to support himself.

Alec helped him into a sitting position. Magnus clearly had lost his strength after what he did on the hill, and it terrified Alec. Almost as much as the haunting, saturnine look plaguing Magnus’ face.

“Has this,” Alec spoke as he waved his hand over Magnus’ entire body, “ever happened before?”

“What? Someone finding out that-” Magnus stopped to blink away a sudden bout of dizziness. “… that I’m a freak? Uh, yeah. It didn’t end so well.”

Alec cringed. “No, I mean what it did to you. It’s like all your energy was zapped away.”

Magnus shifted under Alec’s watchful gaze, fighting the urge to shrink away from it. He became even colder, and his teeth began to chatter. He shook his head.

“Should we try to make it to the car and head to the hospital?”

Magnus shook his head again. Hard. His dizziness spiked, and black dots fuzzed his vision. “No.” He managed an adamant tone.

Alec nodded. “Okay. Then at the very least, we need to get out of these wet clothes.” He shifted the pile of clothes closer and in a tentative voice asked, “Is it all right if I help you?”

Magnus opened his mouth to decline Alec’s offer but then let the reflexive response die out on his tongue. Instead, he nodded shakily.

Alec’s heart lurched. Magnus never admitted to being in need. Something was undoubtedly wrong, more than he originally guessed. Alec moved quickly after that. He took the towel and ran it through Magnus’ dripping wet hair.

“A-Alec.” Magnus' voice quivered. “I’m s-sorry.”

Alec stopped tousling hair and moved his hand to clasp the back of Magnus’ neck, steering their gazes to meet inches apart.

Magnus’ eyes widened owlishly as Alec’s simply grew firm before he spoke. “Hey. You have absolutely _nothing_ to be sorry for.”

The undeniable sincerity in Alec’s tone sparked an ember of hope in Magnus. Those words felt like mercy, allowing the smallest bit of relief to pool in the aching pit of his stomach. Magnus couldn’t help it; he whimpered from the pain of daring to hope.

Alec teared up at the tiny mewling sound, and his eyes stung as he fought hard not to cry.

“I…I’m s-still … _me_ ,” Magnus whispered in a tone that begged Alec to believe him. 

“Of course.” Alec looked away for just a moment, shielding against the pain of Magnus’ wobbly plea. He pulled him tightly against his chest, wrapping arms around Magnus in a strong, secure hug. It was all he could think of to make Magnus believe him at that moment. “I know. I know that.” 

He heard a thick gasp of breath over his shoulder as Magnus sobbed, arms dangling weakly at his sides.

“I didn’t mean for,” Magnus sniffled as Alec held him, trying to articulate the tangle of emotions bouncing chaotically through his otherwise still body. “I never wan-”

“Stop, please.” Alec cut him off. “We can talk about all that later.” He patted Magnus’ back in reassurance.

Magnus used the few waning crumbs of strength he had left to push himself out of Alec’s embrace and look at him again. “No, I – I need you to understand.”

“What’s there to understand right now, Magnus? Other than I got hurt, and you fixed me. Somehow. And now we’re both safe. At least if you let me take care of you right now. You’re ice cold.”

Magnus ignored Alec’s concern, his own stubbornness keeping him just warm enough at the moment. “I … Why are you not scared?” _Why haven’t you left me?_

“I have no reason to be scared.”

Magnus shook his head in disbelief and scoffed, wondering if Alec was in denial about what he had seen back on the hill. After all, Magnus had literally used magic to push Alec's bones back together. Alec must be denying it for him to act so calmly.

Before he could convince himself not to, Magnus made a bold move and flashed his cat eyes at Alec. Just for a moment.

Alec gasped at him, and a sliver of Magnus’ spirit withered and died. It was necessary, though. Now that Alec knew, Magnus needed him to see the monster he really was.

“Yeah, I see them. I saw them, and I’m not scared of your eyes, Magnus. I’m not scared of _you._ Why do you want me to be, anyway?”

Yes, Alec knew very well that he still needed to fully process the fact that the most important person in his world had some supernatural ability. Yes, on some level he realized that his very understanding of the world had been altered. Earth-shattering realization. Magic was real. 

Yes, yes. Of course, yes to all of that, _but_ …

“Magnus, as long as you’re okay, then I’m okay.” It all came down to being as simple as that.

Magnus’ lips formed a tight line, and his eyes creased while he scrutinized Alec’s face, looking for signs of deception. Or disgust. He expected either or both reactions, but not the unconditional concern Alec had always lavished him with. How could it still be there, ready to welcome him as if nothing at all had changed?

“Why can’t you believe me?” Alec continued. “This doesn’t change anything. Like you said, you’re still _you_.”

He offered a warm smile and held onto Magnus’ cheek; the chilled skin he felt reminded him that they were both still drenched from the storm. He traced his thumb back and forth over Magnus’ cheekbone, a gesture to provide comfort. He counted it as a small triumph when Magnus leaned into the touch, even if he still looked at him in uncertain disbelief.

Magnus blinked to keep the encroaching exhaustion at bay. He still had more to say.

“My mother … I-I told you once. She … hurt herself before I met you.” His voice quivered, partly from the cold and partly from a hollow place in his heart.

“My cat eyes showed up one day, and t-that’s how I knew I was different. My mother saw them too… A-and then she was too terrified to look at me again after that.”

“Oh gawd, Magnus.” Alec’s stomach revolted at the image of Magnus as a boy being abandoned by his own mom. Instinctively, he scooted closer and pulled Magnus back into his arms.

Magnus fell against him willingly, burying his face into Alec’s chest. His words became muffled but he continued, “She couldn’t bring herself to kill me. So, s-she … she killed herself instead. Because she knew what was inside of me. Some kind of evil.”

Alec shushed him and absent-mindedly began rocking them back and forth a bit, willing to try anything if it would soothe the now sobbing boy in his arms. Alec felt tears of his own slip down his face, overwhelmed from learning of this trauma Magnus had carried on his own all these years.

Magnus’ mother had rejected him and ended up killing herself. His stepfather had tried to drown him. Alec understood now. Magnus’ irrational need to keep this secret from Alec wasn’t irrational at all.

“I-I’m too damaged to be worth whatever you s-see in me.” Magnus’ shaky voice was muddled, but the dejection it carried came across crystal clear.

Damaged. Magnus thought of himself as too damaged, but Alec couldn’t fathom why, even after all he had just heard.

“Don’t think that. Please, don’t. You’re not damaged.” He wasn’t. He just needed a different kind of love, one strong enough to make up for all the years he endured without any. “Trust me, Magnus. You’re worth it. You always have been, and you always will be.”

Magnus continued to tremble as his muscles spasmed in an effort to create body heat. After a few moments huddled against Alec, the crying had subsided at least. He didn’t know when he had closed his eyes, but he was having trouble opening them when he heard Alec call his name. Every part of his body had grown too heavy to move.

Then, Alec was moving for him. Magnus involuntarily groaned in protest when he felt his arms being lifted above his head.

“’s cold, Alexan’er,” he sputtered through clattering teeth.

“I know it’s cold. You’re soaked all the way through. That’s why we have to change clothes.”

Magnus didn’t argue, but he made no effort to move either. Instead, he simply slumped further against Alec’s chest, becoming almost entirely dead weight - too weak to keep himself upright.

Alec noticed that Magnus had become more sluggish than even a few minutes ago. He quickened his pace, rolling the wet shirt over Magnus’ head and clearing it through his arms before throwing it to the side. It landed on the tarp with a wet splat. Next, he wrapped the towel around Magnus’ shoulders to dry his clammy skin.

“We need to get your jeans off,” Alec said as he held him up by the shoulders. He glanced at Magnus to find his eyes drooping heavily, focused on nothing at all. “Magnus, come on.”

“Pl-leas,” Magnus slurred. “I-m too cold t-to move. Just … lemme sleep.”

“You can’t right now.”

“I-I won’ bother y-. I’ll be right ‘ere.” His words were slushing together. He tried to lay down, but Alec sadly denied him, forcing him to remain upright.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t sleep just yet.” Alec didn’t wait for Magnus to comply any longer. He hoisted him up till they were both standing and helped Magnus shed his soaked jeans. He made quick work of helping him into the thermal shirt and pants, not wanting to leave him vulnerable any longer than necessary.

He stopped only when he noticed a long gash along Magnus’ left palm. Tiny bits of dirt and gravel poked out of the cut.

“I don’t suppose you can, um, heal this right now?” Alec held Magnus’ hand up closer to their faces. Magnus peeked through heavy eyelids before shaking his head.

“Doesn’t w-work on me,” he mumbled.

Alec tucked the new piece of information away for a future discussion and guided them both back to the ground. He tugged fresh socks onto Magnus’ icy feet and then let him lay down for a few moments while he peeled off his own wet clothes. He almost groaned in delight from the satisfying warmth starting to settle over his body after changing. Dry clothes. Such a simple but glorious thing.

He moved next to the first aid kit, dousing a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol before lifting Magnus’ hand up by the wrist. Magnus continued to shiver, but the teeth chattering had slowed down. He lay still otherwise, and Alec would have thought he had fallen asleep if not for the pained gasp of air he sucked in when the cotton ball touched his open wound.

“Sorry,” Alec said and gingerly wiped away the dirt and gravel. He quickly wrapped gauze around the entire palm of Magnus' hand.

He did the same for the cuts on his own arm that he stopped Magnus from healing. Finally, he grabbed a jug of water and wet a towel. With it, he began removing dirt from Magnus’ face. “Stay awake for me, please?”

Magnus hummed absently, tilting his head toward the sound of Alec’s voice. He made no visible attempt to open his eyes, though.

Alec tried wiping as much caked mud from both their arms and faces as he could. “That will have to do for now.” They both were still dirty, with small clumps of dirt and nature drying in their hair, but Alec cared more about getting Magnus warm.

After glancing at the sleeping bags at the other end of the tent, he forced himself to disturb Magnus once more, trying to coax him awake. It took several moments and a couple of gentle taps against a still-too-cold cheek before Magnus finally roused. His eyes were unfocused, bleary clouds.

“Help me get you to into the sleeping bag, Magnus. Please, hm?”

Alec’s request somehow registered in Magnus’ drowsy head. He pushed to sit up but all-too-slowly came to realize he hadn’t moved at all. His lethargic thinking led him to wonder if something was on top of him, pinning him down to the ground. He wanted to ask Alec what was happening, but he wasn’t sure if the words came out or not. He floated above the darkness for only another moment before it pulled him under into a deep sleep.

Alec remained undeterred. He ended up dragging Magnus across the tent and managed to get them both settled into the sleeping bags. He zipped them together and tucked Magnus tightly into his chest, a fierce protectiveness still surging through him.

Even in sleep, Magnus instinctively nuzzled his face into the bend of Alec’s neck and sighed, the first sound of contentment Alec had heard all night.

Alec couldn’t help but smile to himself as he let the steady sound of Magnus’s breathing lull him. He kissed the top of the other boy’s head and quickly drifted to sleep himself.

Only an hour passed before a stranger’s voice coming from outside the tent startled Alec back into the waking world. He made out a light bobbing around outside the tent; someone was shining a flashlight.

“Anyone in there?” the voice came again. Deep, male, unfamiliar.

Magnus began to stir beside him. “Alec, what's-”

Before Magnus could speak another word, Alec clamped his hand over his mouth. Magnus stared up at him with tired but wild eyes. They each could hear the other’s heart rate quicken, panicked by the sudden presence of a strange visitor in the middle of the woods.

“Come out, or I will come in,” the man warned gruffly through the thin material. Seconds later, Alec heard the tent flap begin to unzip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Who's there? 
> 
> Thank you for reading! How'd you think the boys handled the fallout?  
> \---
> 
> [Follow me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/paige_age)
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://adaline-blooms.tumblr.com/)


	8. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After such a promising start, Alec and Magnus’ camping trip had turned into utter disaster. The two had explored sweet summer kisses just that morning, but that was eons away now. From another time. Now, they were cold, dirty, and exhausted; not to mention a stranger lurked just outside their tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys encounter an unexpected visitor at their campsite, while Magnus battles energy depletion after healing Alec.

Though Magnus had been deep in sleep, a jolt of alarm burrowed into the corner of his mind. It rattled him from slumber and lugged him through a cloud of dreamless dark.

When he dragged his eyes open, he found himself cocooned inside a sleeping bag, tucked comfortably against Alec. He couldn’t remember how he got there, but he felt perfectly safe. He called out to Alec, but before he could get his words out, Alec’s hand clamped over his mouth. He didn’t know what the danger was, but he felt Alec’s panic.

A voice came from outside their tent, startling Magnus. 

“Come out, or I will come in,” it said. It sounded familiar.

The stranger began unzipping the door flap. “Are you boys okay?”

Magnus sighed in relief, but Alec only became stiffer, protectively pushing Magnus down as though to hide him from the intruder barging into their tent.

Magnus’ mumbles continued until Alec lifted his hand just enough to hear the muffles turn into raspy words. “It’s just Ragnor.”

Alec’s gaze flew back to the front of the tent in time to see the flap now open and the man crouching to enter. Sure enough, it was Magnus’ neighbor, Ragnor Fell.

“Are you boys okay?” Ragnor repeated as he looked over them. “That was quite a storm.”

“What … what are you doing here?” Magnus asked, so exhausted he could barely eke out the words.

Ragnor’s eyes flickered with concern. “I bumped into Maryse Lightwood at Catarina’s shop. She was worried when the storm came through as strongly as it did. She almost asked Sheriff Garroway to drive up and check on you boys. But I volunteered instead.”

Alec visibly trembled at the thought of someone like the sheriff showing up. _What if someone else would have seen Magnus heal him?_

His grip around Magnus tightened, white-knuckled fingers pinching the other boy’s shoulder. A new fear sprouted in the back of his head. People knowing about Magnus’ power would be dangerous. 

“Alec, you remember me, yes? I’m Magnus’ stepfather, Ragnor.”

Alec knew that to be untrue; Ragnor was most certainly _not_ Magnus’ stepfather. He had only pretended to be a couple of times, for Magnus’ sake, in front of a couple of teachers and Alec’s parents when they were younger.

Alec didn’t answer. Instead, he waited for Magnus to take the lead. But when only silence followed, he glanced down to find Magnus engaged in a fierce battle to keep his eyes open.

“Magnus?”

“Alec… ‘m so tired.”

He slouched in Alec’s arms, his back weighing heavier on his friend’s chest. His head lolled backward onto Alec’s shoulder, and his lips fell open. Soon after, heavy breaths evened out in a rhythmic steadiness. He was at once fast asleep again.

“What happened up here?” Ragnor asked, worry making his tone harsher than intended. 

“We fell down a hill when we were hiking.”

“Are you both okay?”

“Um, yeah. Just really tired.”

“I don’t think you should stay up here tonight. I can take you home to your mum.”

“I’m not leaving Magnus.”

“Well, I will be taking him home too, of course.” Ragnor chuckled a bit.

“No, I mean I’m not leaving his side.”

“Alec, I’m his stepfather. I need to take him home to rest. He won’t be alone.”

Alec was quiet for a beat before responding, “You’re _not_ his stepfather.”

Ragnor blanched. Apparently, the man was unaware of how much Alec knew. 

“… Well, yes. You’re right. I’m nothing like that evil toad of a man, thankfully. But I do care very much for Magnus’ well-being… My apologies. I wasn’t sure if he had told anyone.”

Alec frowned, wishing that Magnus would wake up. He needed to know if he should trust this man. The last he had heard about Ragnor Fell was the night of Isabelle’s party, where Magnus told him Ragnor and Catarina had lied to him. About what, he didn’t know. It made him unsure of how to deal with the man now kneeling before them at the front of the tent.

“What _really_ happened out here, Alec?”

“I-I told you. We fell after a hike. We’re just really tired. Magnus especially. That’s all.”

Ragnor’s brows knitted together. His eyes were telling, almost as clear as actual words. They told Alec that Ragnor knew something more happened to Magnus, and that ‘something more’ likely had to do with his hidden powers. 

“Well, Magnus doesn’t look well. I think we should take him to the hospital?” Ragnor challenged, watching Alec closely.

“No! We can’t. He can’t go to the hospital,” Alec almost shouted, his voice on the verge of panic. He quickly shifted Magnus even deeper into his grasp. He watched Ragnor smirk.

“That was the answer I needed to hear, my boy. I know you are protecting him. I’m so glad. But you don’t need to protect him from me. I’m on his side.”

Alec’s internal conflict did not subside, even if he felt the man’s words to be sincere. He still would not risk Magnus’ secret. Ever.

“Let me take you both to my house. You can stay the night with him there. How does that sound?”

Alec considered the offer. Magnus was still too cold and couldn’t stay awake. He needed a real bed. He needed warmth that Alec and a night spent outside in a tent simply couldn’t provide.

“Yeah, okay.”

\--

Ragnor carried Magnus from camp as Alec followed along. Magnus hadn’t woken up when Alec put his shoes and a jacket on him before they left the tent. Apart from an errant groan during the muddy trek over uneven terrain to Ragnor’s car, he seemed dead to the world. With each step, Alec’s heart slumped heavier; he had never seen Magnus like this.

Ragnor looked over his shoulder. “Text your mum. Tell her you’re both all right so she doesn’t continue to worry.”

Alec did as instructed, absently fishing into his jacket pocket for his phone. He fired off a quick message to his mother: _Ragnor came. Magnus and I are fine, mom. Don’t worry._

He shoved his phone away without waiting for her response. In a few long strides, he caught back up to his place beside Magnus, who remained terrifyingly still in Ragnor’s arms.

“Alec, I really need you to tell me what happened,” Ragnor said after a few moments of walking in silence.

Alec shook his head. “I-I can’t.”

“You can trust me, lad.”

“Magnus told me you lied to him.”

Ragnor winced like those words had just reached out and cut him. “I didn’t lie… I did keep something from him, though. And I regret that very much. I came to sort things out with him today, but he’d already left for this camping trip.”

“What did you keep from him?”

“I know that Magnus is special.”

“He _is_ …” Alec trailed off. _That’s why I can’t tell you._

“I know Magnus is _special_ ,” Ragnor repeated.

“What do you mean by that?”

“That Magnus can do extraordinary things. And I’m quite sure you know that too… I know it’s hard, but I need you to trust me.”

Alec didn’t answer. _It’s not my secret to tell._

Ragnor sighed in resignation. Instead of irritation, however, he was comforted by Alec’s protectiveness over the boy in Ragnor’s arms.

\--

When they reached the vehicle, Alec climbed into the back seat, tossing a duffle bag of haphazardly packed items to the floor. Ragnor unloaded Magnus from his arms and into Alec’s, as they both tried to situate him to be as comfortable as possible.

Magnus’ head landed in Alec’s lap. The jostling seemed to finally rouse him; he began to stir after Ragnor went to look for something in the trunk.

Alec’s relief at seeing him awake instantly belly-flopped into distress when he saw a pair of glowing cat eyes blink languidly up at him.

He let out a strangled gasp that startled a still-very-much-groggy Magnus. 

“What’s wrong?” His unfocused gaze searched Alec’s face.

“Your eyes!” Alec whispered, panicked as he looked over his shoulder and bundled Magnus up closer to him. “Close your eyes.”

Magnus merely continued to stare curiously up at Alec. He was about to ask why, but then his foggy mind belatedly came to understand; his cat eyes must have appeared, and Alec was reacting badly to them. Alec was afraid, and the realization devastated Magnus. 

The mind fog cleared up, and he could remember now. The events of the afternoon hike – of what happened on that hill – came pummeling back so fast his head spun. _Alec knows about me now. Is he scared of me? Repulsed even?_

Alec moved his hand to cover Magnus’ face but stopped when he saw the yellow-green orbs shift back to a safe dark brown inside a single blink. He would have relaxed if he hadn’t noticed Magnus’ face go dark, a fresh dejection mingling with his already disoriented state.

“Hey. Don’t do that,” Alec whispered and tilted Magnus’ chin up to face him, urging him to understand. He knew Magnus so well... Knew just where his mind went when he realized Alec had asked him to hide his eyes. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop, okay?”

Magnus gave a tiny nod.

Behind them, the car trunk slammed shut and Magnus jumped in Alec’s arms, the sound scaring a squeaky yelp out of him.

“It’s just Ragnor.” Alec rubbed Magnus’ arm in assurance and tried to get him to settle back down as Ragnor returned to the side of the car with a small pile of blankets.

“Magnus, lad, are you awake?”

“Ragnor?” Magnus croaked, incredulous. He squirmed in Alec’s arms to get a better look around him.

The man ducked his head inside and handed a blanket to Alec before taking the other one and draping it over Magnus’ legs that sprawled across the seat. “Yes, I came to bring you guys home, remember?” 

Magnus frowned. He did _not_ remember Ragnor coming or how they made it to his car.

Alec unfolded the blanket given to him only to promptly bundle it around Magnus’ torso.

Ragnor smirked fondly at the gesture. He looked back to find Magnus staring at him with a curtain of tears shining over his eyes.

“Magnus, dear. Are you all right?” He patted the boy’s knee.

Magnus didn’t want to cry anymore. A rawness gnawed away at his insides, aching in a way that surely meant there couldn’t be any more tears left. Yet, there they were, spilling over his cheeks and stinging his face. Stubborn and relentless.

Ragnor asked him if he was okay. Had he responded? Exhaustion made thinking full and coherent thoughts impossible.

He knew he wasn’t okay. But that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

What he wanted … was a remote control. One with a magical pause button to freeze everything around him, so he could slip away… find a place, _any_ place, to hide. Just for a little while. Enough time to put himself back together so he wasn’t this weak mess puddled in Alec’s arms.

“Magnus?” Alec’s voice broke him from the internal daze he had gotten tangled up in. He guessed he never answered Ragnor’s question.

“What happened to you tonight?” Ragnor asked.

Magnus felt heavy again as his mind drifted. Pausing things wouldn’t help, he realized, because what happened had still happened. So maybe a rewind button would work better. Yes, if he could rewind today - make it so he and Alec never went on that stupid hike... His heart lurched, desperately yearning for a way to record over the days’ events. 

“I told him we fell during the hike, but nothing happened. We’re all right,” Alec said. 

For as fuzzy as Magnus’ thoughts were, he understood the underlying tone in Alec’s voice. Alec hadn’t told Ragnor the truth. He was trying to clue Magnus in to be on the same page. A lethargic half-smile crept onto Magnus’ face, lopsided but brightened by the thought of Alec dutifully keeping his secret.

“Boys, I know that something else happened up here today,” Ragnor prodded from outside the car.

Alec huffed in exasperation, about to repeat himself yet again. 

“It’s okay, Alec. Ragnor knows about me.” Magnus looked back to Ragnor with fresh hurt splashed across his face. “Don’t you?”

Ragnor shrank back from the newfound edge powering Magnus’ words.

“And now Alec knows too,” Magnus finished.

Silence was the only gawd awful sound for an unknown span of time before one of them spoke.

“Now that we all know what we know,” Ragnor began, “Magnus, you did something today. I can feel it like static in the air.”

Magnus’s jaw clenched, unwilling to speak yet, but Ragnor continued.

“I know you’re upset with me, but I need to know so I can help you.”

Alec swallowed his own urge to chime in. For the moment, he continued to follow Magnus’ lead.

“Stubborn lads,” Ragnor chided. “Magnus, you are too exhausted for it to have come from anything else than exerting magic. This is serious.”

There. Finally. Ragnor had said the word. _Magic._

Alec wasted no more time waiting for Magnus. Ragnor said he could help Magnus, and that was all that mattered. “It’s my fault. I-I fell … really hard. Magnus … H-he fixed me.”

Magnus’ face closed off as he looked down, and Alec’s expression crumpled. His fingers rubbed over Magnus’ shoulder. “I’m sorry, Magnus.” 

“It’s fine,” Magnus said. Well, nothing was fine, but he didn’t want Alec to be sorry. He had nothing at all to be sorry for.

“How badly were you hurt, Alec?” Ragnor asked.

“My leg was broken. I, um, bashed my head really bad too. I was cut up all over. I-I couldn’t move at all, and it … it hurt to even breathe.”

“I’m sorry that happened,” Ragnor said quietly before looking down at Magnus. “Looks like Magnus did a good job of fixing you up, though.”

“Yeah. Yes. He really did.” Alec hurriedly wiped the sneak attack of tears that sprung from his eyes. “Is he going to be okay?”

“I’m right _here_ , Alec,” Magnus said.

“I know, but after it happened, you were so out of it. You still are. I-I’ve never seen you like this. I’m scared.”

Magnus looked up at Alec from his place still huddled on his lap, surprised. For the first time, he started to believe, truly, that Alec wasn’t scared of him. He was scared _for_ him. The possibility went against all he had come to expect.

“Don’t be scared, Alexander.” His voice was weak, but conviction peeked through.

\--

Ragnor had texted some of the details to Catarina before they took off; she would meet them at his house. He continued his investigation while he drove back to town.

_What color was the magic? How extreme were Alec’s injuries? How long did it take Magnus to heal them? How soon after the event did the exhaustion set in?_

The questions went on as Magnus nodded off in Alec’s lap. Alec answered as many as he could, nudging Magnus awake only when needed.

The lull of the car ride and the warm curl of Alec’s arms was too strong for Magnus to resist. He ended up tucking his forehead against Alec’s neck with a relaxed sigh.

“Why are the specifics so important?” Alec asked, trying to distract himself from the shiver of Magnus’ breath that brushed over his collarbone.

“There is something Magnus can take to restore his energy, but the formula must be adjusted according to his current level of depletion, or it can end up doing more harm than good.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Magic requires a delicate balance. Too much and it could take control over him. Too little and it could counteract his own body’s natural restoration efforts.”

“Can’t you just heal him like he did me?”

“He’s not injured. His energy is depleted, and that is an entirely separate matter. Magnus spent much more magic than he should have – especially when it had been dormant. And he used it inefficiently which took more energy than it needed.”

That information only spun several new questions into existence, and Alec didn’t know which one to ask first.

Ragnor caught a glimpse of Alec’s scrunched-up expression from the rear-view mirror and sensed his confusion. “I will explain more when we’re home. Magnus will want to hear this too.”

“Is he going to be okay, though? Is he in danger?”

It was Alec’s turn to watch through the rear-view mirror, and he watched Ragnor’s eyes flicker with darkness. “Those are two very different questions.”

“What do you mean?” He was too scared to care that anger had crept into the edges of his words.

“There is always a cost with magic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Follow me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/paige_age)
> 
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://adaline-blooms.tumblr.com/)


End file.
